Save Me
by skyes78
Summary: When Felicity is in trouble physically and mentally, what will Oliver Queen do to solve everything. Story contains sexual abuse, physical abuse a lot of anger, pain, comfort.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Arrow, just having my fun. This is raw.. meaning no edit no beta!

Felicity thought for sure that, if she put her mind on all the good thoughts, the pain wouldn't enter her mind. Boy was she wrong. The pain was severe, the pain in her right leg was enough to take her breath and make her scream. But there were other pains throughout her body and she wasn't for sure she could tell where it was coming from anymore.

The horror that she has went through tried to enter her mind, she tried to keep it at bay by thinking better thoughts. Thoughts of Oliver, Diggle and even Barry Allen. The joys of their friendship was something to try and keep her positive. But there was no use, the pain was stronger. The pain filled her every thought. She was scared, scared that her captor would come back and inflict more pain on her body.

Felicity's long blonde hair was matted to the left side of her head. She was strapped to a cold metal table by what felt to her like leather straps and worse of everything she was naked. She had been beaten, drugged, beaten again and then raped. The pain in her pelvic bone and area was extreme, it felt as the pelvic bone was broken but she wasn't for sure. She tried to keep her thoughts straight, she started to figure out where each pain was coming from. Her left eye was swelled completely shut and it hurt to move her eyes around. Her entire body was tormented with pain making it uncertain just where she hurt the most. She wished for a savior to come and save the pain. A savior to take the pain away, she wished to die. The drugs that was rushing through her body wasn't enough. She wished for more to be given so she could go to the dark place where there was no pain, no thoughts, no nothing. Felicity Smoak had no fight left in her.

Felicity's captor saw her coming easily. It was a simple task to kidnap the computer genius that worked alongside the man he hated. He knew Arrow was looking for him, he knew it would be a matter of time before he was caught. He was running drugs in Arrow's city, he knew the possibility of what would come of that. Gray Collins wanted nothing more than to bring the Starling City savior to his knees. Starling City was just a money maker for him and he couldn't lose the amount of money he was gaining by running his drugs.

First he taunted the blonde genius with words that he knew would unsettle her. He told her of how she was nothing more than an item for Arrow. He whispered in her ear how she was useless to the Arrow team once they had what they needed from her. He taunted her with words that she wasn't that pretty girl that she liked to pull off that she was. He mocked her clothes, her makeup and even down to her glasses.

When she wouldn't break he started to torment her in other ways. Ways that would haunt Felicity for the rest of her life. Some ways that was never heard of, ways that she had only seen in horror films when she was brave enough to watch them.

Felicity had walked to her car, done for the evening and couldn't wait to get home where she wanted a hot bath and her favorite tub of Rocky Road ice cream. She had a rough day to say the least. Her and Oliver had exchanged mean words towards one another because he was upset and she wasn't working fast enough in his opinion. She was livid with Oliver; how could he question her work when he had seen her at her best. How could he say the hateful words that he had spoken?

Gray Collins stood in the dark night against the brick building waiting for Felicity he had followed her for days. He knew when he saw her that the blonde's mind was a million miles away. He quickly ducked his cigarette on the brick wall and walked toward her. This was his chance.

Felicity saw the tall dark haired man coming toward her. His grey suit looked to be high end and he walked with purpose. Once he got close to her she looked at him and his eyes would haunt her forever. His voice rasp sounding he said "I'm having car trouble could you be of help?". She looked around and noticed that there wasn't another car close to them and fear started to set in. Where at he come from? Why hadn't she seen him when she walked toward her car? She reached in her coat pocket for her cell phone but before she could do anything else Collins was on her fast, the syringe he was holding stuck into her neck quickly as he wrapped his other hand around her mouth. What was it with these bad guys and syringes she wondered as she fell into the black abyss.

The drugs would keep her comatose for long enough. Once the drug entered her system, she would only crave them later, something that was on his side, something that he counted on to happen. Gray Collins usually got what he wanted no matter how, he just always did. He wanted to leave Arrow a warning, a warning to leave him be and allow him to run the city freely. Felicity just happen to be that warning sign.

Gray Collins had inflicted so much hurt, so much pain unto Felicity in forms of mental and physical. He wanted to make sure his wants got across to the Arrow, no matter what it took. He would leave Arrow a message on where to find his blonde friend and he himself would go into hiding until the smoke blew over so to speak.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

"FELICITY?"

"She's not here man."

"Her car is out front, what do you mean she isn't here? Where is she then?"

Oliver asked as he sat down in the chair that is usually occupied by Felicity. He knew that he was out of line with the blonde and he shouldn't have had told her that she was stupid. He was mad, but she was worse. That woman could get on his nerves sometimes, but he couldn't stay mad at her. She was his friend. She meant more to him then she probably would ever know. He loved her but only wanted to protect her. He had given up women, he had thoughts and eyes for only one blonde and if he couldn't be with her then he would be with no one.

"I've tried to call her several times, never an answer." Diggle sat down across from Oliver. He was worried about the blonde but wouldn't show it to Oliver.

"She was pretty pissed off at you man."

"Diggle don't start I know she was, I know I said things that I shouldn't had but she…"

"Is doing her best Oliver. Why did you get so mad at her, what are your reasons for saying what you did?" Diggle stood up and started to pace the floor in front of Oliver, he was upset that the blonde wouldn't even answer his calls. She was that mad.

"I know you have feelings for her Oliver, I'm not stupid man, I've seen the way you look at her. What you think pushing her away is going to make those feelings go with her?"

"Diggle you don't know what the hell you're talking about. My feelings for Felicity is professional only."

John Diggle stopped walking and stood in front of Oliver. "Keep telling yourself that man."

"Hell who can't be moved by her Oliver, she is pretty, she is smart, she has a power within her that most people never have all their lives. The power to see the good in everyone, the drive to push people to do their best but most of all she is loyal. That in itself is enough to love that woman. I've seen the way she looks at you, she has those same feelings but she keeps herself composed very well." Diggle started to pace the floor again. Why hadn't she answered his call. There had to be something wrong. He felt it in his gut.

"What are you now Dig a matchmaker?"

Oliver spun around in the chair turning his attention to the computer screen. He was worried that the blonde hadn't reached out to him. Usually when they have had heated words it didn't take her long to get over them. He knew his feelings for Felicity was love, he was no stranger to that feeling. However, he also knew that he couldn't be with her, he had to protect her and if staying away from her and keeping his love locked up to protect her then that is what he would do.

"I'm going to go by her place, see if she is sitting on the couch eating ice cream and feeling sorry for herself." Diggle said jokingly as he walked toward the stairs.

Suddenly the computer screen Oliver was sitting in front of changed to a live feed of what looked to be an abandoned warehouse. Oliver trained his eyes to what was in the center of the room. His stomach wanted to lose its contents instantly.

"Dig." Oliver said slowly as if him speaking was going to take the live feed off the computer in front of him.

Diggle turned around. "It's worth a shot Oliver, I will be back."

"Come here." Oliver simply stated.

Diggle walked toward Oliver and stop mid tracks once he seen the computer screen with the live feed. His jacket dropped from his hands as he lost touch with everything. There on that computer screen was his blonde friend tied naked to a table not moving. No movement at all could be seen.

"Oliver"

Oliver's attention was solely on the live feed. His heart breaking with every passing second to seeing Felicity tied up and naked. So much blood covered her body, he could easily see her leg broken and the tibia bone protruding from her leg. Blood dripped from the table to the stone flood where she laid. Felicity's blonde hair was a matted mess with blood. His eyes took in the cuts that covered her body and her eye swollen completely shut. His anger was starting to boil and come to the top, his hands gripped the table in front of him so tight his knuckles were white.

Text started to scroll across the screen. "Can you save her?" "Can you find her?".

Oliver's anger finally reached the boiling hot point, he stood up and screamed. A scream that would probably haunt John Diggle for the rest of his life.

John Diggle was shattered out of his trance, he went to stand completely in front of the screen. There had to be a clue to where Felicity was being held. There had to be something for him to see that would tell him where to go, just had to be. He could feel Oliver pacing the floor behind him, but right now Oliver didn't matter. Felicity did.

"Come on Oliver don't lose it now; we have to find her." Diggle stared at the screen, it to him was like a puzzle, trying to find Waldo, trying to find something. He scanned the screen inch by inch, willing something to stand out to him.

"Oliver, calm down man. Come here look at how these windows are placed; do you see what is outside of them?" Diggle said pointing to one of the windows.

Oliver let out a breath he didn't even know that he was holding. He walked toward Diggle to see exactly what he was talking about. He couldn't get his mind straight all he could see was his Felicity laying broken, beaten and bloodied on that table.

"Oliver here!" Diggle poked his finger on the computer screen roughly making the monitor shake.

Oliver shook his head, trying to knock the images of Felicity away. He had to find her. He didn't know if she was dead or alive and that fear was enough to overtake all his emotions.

"Pier?"

"I believe so." Diggle said walking across the room gathering his items. He grabbed the first aid kit, he didn't know what help it would do but just in case he had it. He had to do everything he knew to do no matter if it would work or not, he just had to.

Oliver stood in front of the computer screen, just staring, taking in every inch of what he could see of Felicity. Why hadn't he told Felicity the way he felt about her? Why hadn't he told her that he did love her? Now it was too late and she was dying or maybe even dead thinking he was mad and he thought she was stupid. He has lost the one person that he truly felt love for, he didn't know how he could live now without seeing Felicity's sweet smile and bright eyes.

"Oliver! Let's go!" Diggle yelled holding a large satchel in his hand. When had he changed his clothes? When had he gathered up enough stuff to fill a large satchel? Oliver had no clue.

Oliver quickly started to gather up what he needed, he had no idea what Felicity would need. He knew one thing, he needed her to be okay. He needed her to be alive when he got there. He needed to show her that he did love her and that he couldn't live without her. He needed her in his life.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE:

Felicity tried her best to open her one good eye. She could only stare up at the ceiling. At least the duct work and electrical lines looked good. She tried to keep the pain away, she begged in her mind for it to leave. It didn't work. The pain racked her entire body and she pleaded for release from it. There was a malicious chill that set deep within her and she felt like she was going to freeze to death, that is if her injuries didn't kill her first.

She heard noise around her, like someone was standing in the room. She willed her voice to speak but nothing came out but whimpers. She wanted to die, she wanted her captor to go ahead and end the pain and terror that she was feeling.

"please" was that raspy voice hers?

"Felicity! Oh, God!" Diggle spoke as he came near to the blonde genius. He quickly unstrapped her restraints and leaned over her lifeless body. Felicity was staring back at him, a dead chill within her one eye. John Diggle quickly took the blanket he carried in his satchel and cover Felicity and jumped back when she screamed as the material touched her body. He quickly dialed 911 on his cell letting the dispatcher know he need an ambulance now.

"Hang on girl, we going to get you out of here. I promise." Diggle pushed strands of blonde matted hair away from Felicity's face.

"Diggle!" Oliver Queen stopped mid tracks once he took in Felicity. Her scream bringing him back to the task at hand. Oliver had searched the abandoned warehouse but there was no trace of who kidnapped Felicity, of who done the unimaginable things to her. He walked closer to the table and watched as Diggle talked smoothly to the blonde.

"Oliver get out of here I called 911 they are on their way. Call Lance let him know what is happening. Come on Oliver now!" Diggle yelled making Felicity jerk a little.

Oliver took another long look at the blonde. "Stay with her Dig, stay with her please." Oliver pleaded before he ran from the room pulling out the cell to call Detective Lance.

Diggle touched Felicity's arm, there was so much blood, he knew she was alive, her scream told him that much. But he didn't know for how long. Even his simple touch seems to throw Felicity into a fit. He quickly stepped back when another scream came from her raspy voice. What had that monster done to his friend? What did she go through to still be alive, clinging onto what was left of her life?"

"Felicity it's John, you are safe. Ambulance is on its way." Diggle tried to sooth the blonde.

A fury of activity happened all at once. Paramedics came running into the empty warehouse straight to them. Several SCPD arrived mins behind the paramedics. Lance being one of them.

"Felicity Smoak?" Lance said never taking his eyes from the paramedics working on the blonde. His stomach churned with its contents. "What happened here?" Lance asked to no one, but to everyone in the room.

When one of the paramedics touched Felicity to move her to the gurney the sound that came from the blonde mixed with the empty warehouse bore a pain through every man standing. Diggle clinched his fist, and swore the son of a bitch that done this would pay and pay dearly. He knew Oliver was in the rafters watching the scene unfold in front of them. He knew that Oliver wouldn't leave the warehouse till he knew the blonde was okay.

"Be easy with her!" Lance shouted to the paramedics. He had come to think a lot of the blonde, she reminded him of his daughters. So, young, so naive, so innocent, everything that was good in life. His thoughts went to that of Arrow, he knew without a doubt that he would revenge his blonde friend. He knew it was going to be a messy night in Starling City for sure. He couldn't blame him; he could hear the pain mixed with anger in his voice when he had called him. That is what made Quinton Lance race to the address, that is what made chills run up his spine when he saw Felicity.

"We have her sedated, let's move her to the gurney we have to get her to the hospital." The young dark haired paramedic said. Lance quickly went to Felicity's side waiting for the paramedic to direct him on what to do. Suddenly when the guy started to move Felicity the blanket Diggle had placed over her fell to the floor. Lance took in her naked body, holding his breath and closing his eyes he knew the images would be there forever. This time when they touched Felicity Smoak, she only whimpered. She was quickly hooked to an IV and covered with a sheet, her skin the same stark white tone scared Lance. He looked over to Diggle to see the man shared his same emotions.

Oliver stood in the warehouse rafters watching the scene unfold in front of him. He held his own breath when they started to move the blonde and the blanket fell to the floor. Felicity's body was covered in injuries; some look to be cigarette burns and other's cuts. Dried blood covered most of her body from what he could see. He could hear her cries and her whimpers as she was pushed away from the warehouse, from the hell she had endured. He caught Diggle's eyes knowing his friend would be with her until he could.

Now it was his turn, now was his time to go through the empty warehouse and see with his eyes just what his blonde love went through. It was his time to find out who did this.


	4. Chapter 4

The ER was a fury of activity; Diggle was pushed out of the way several times until he was asked to stay put in the family waiting area. He paced the floor of that room of course. His mind was a fury of activity in its own. He had never known anyone to live through injuries that Felicity had. Blood loss being the main one. He wanted to be out on the streets with Oliver, helping him find the person responsible for Felicity, but he knew what Oliver wanted. Oliver wanted him to stay with Felicity, he wanted him to not get far from her. How could he be close to her and abide what Oliver wanted if the hospital staff wouldn't even let him close to the doors?

He walked to the double doors that the medical staff had taken Felicity through and looked through the windows. He could see a couple of nurses but nothing more. This was a sad day for the Arrow team, no one ever thought their one and only Felicity would be in trouble. Who would have ever thought that their blonde friend would be in a hospital fighting for her life.

Diggle's cell phone chimed telling him he had a text.

 _"Felicity"_

Diggle tried his best to enter what he wanted to say, his hands were shaking so badly. How had he not noticed that before. Finally, he entered his message and hit the send button.

 _"Not good"_

 _"Be there soon"_

Diggle quickly read the message and put the phone back into his pocket and started to pace the small waiting room again.

"John?" Thea Queen said walking into the waiting room interrupting Diggle's thoughts and he was thankful for that.

"Felicity?" Thea quickly hugged the tall black man and pushed away from him. He looked terrible and she wasn't for sure he was even with her.

"I don't know Thea; they haven't told me anything. I just don't know."

Thea lead Diggle to the chairs in the waiting room. She had to make him sit down, he looked as though he was going to fall. She was scared, scared for her friend Felicity but scared for her brother Oliver, she knew that he had a deep love for the blonde IT tech and knew this would crush him. She was scared the team, Felicity whether she knew it or not held the team together most of the time. Thea looked to her phone, she texted Laurel quickly along with Roy. Felicity would need her friends around. She thought about Felicity's hair brain mother but didn't have her contact information.

Oliver wearing jeans and a dark blue pull over came walking into the waiting room. He quickly went to his sister and friend. Neither's face telling him what he wanted to know. Their faces only showed sadness and hurt.

"Felicity" the pain with that simple one-word question could clearly be heard.

Diggle shook his head and Oliver found a seat across from his sister and friend. He had seen Lance pulling up when he ran into the hospital and knew the detective would be in the waiting room soon.

Suddenly a doctor was standing in the middle of the waiting room, neither person aware enough to see her approach, they were all lost within their own thoughts. Detective Lance was standing closely behind her. The doctor looked to be no more than 30 years old with dark auburn hair that flowed half way down her back. She looked nervous standing in front of them with her hands clenched together, wearing blue scrubs. Freshly changed, Oliver took notice.

"Felicity Smoak's Family?"

"Yes we are her friends. Her mother hasn't been notified yet." Oliver said jumping up from his seat. "I'm Oliver Queen and I'm on her next of kin list."

"Would you please follow me then Mr. Queen?" The doctor asked Oliver and turned to walk away.

"They can hear; they are her friends."

"It's best for now if I only speak with her next to kin." The doctor left the conversation with no other words.

Oliver walked behind her, never taking notice of the lone man sitting at the far end of the hall reading a newspaper. The doctor lead Oliver into another little room that held a couple of chairs and a small couch. A family meeting room from the looks of it.

"How is Felicity?"

"Ever since Ms. Smoak was brought into the ER it has been a touch and go situation. There were many small lacerations covering most of her body. Her leg had to be reset in surgery which we did get that repaired. She has a nasty cut and bump on her forehead which we will monitor her throughout the night for. Her eye is very swelled but nothing is broken there. Infection is our worse enemy right now. "

"What are you not saying doctor?" Oliver knew when someone was holding information, he was good at that.

"Well... Mr. Queen we have had to sedate Felicity for now. It will be best if we keep her sedated for a few days, give her body time to rest, time to heal. Her pelvic bone was fractured in two places; she was sexually assaulted and has Anogenital injuries resulting from this. She lost a lot of blood and hopefully we have replenished her blood. That being physically, mentally is another story. Ms. Smoak asked us several times to allow her to die. She is in a dark place, one reason for sedation. It has to be her will to live, if she makes a full recovery."

"But she will recover?" Oliver couldn't keep the emotions out of his voice.

"Ms. Smoak has endured things that I have never even heard or seen of. She was tortured, cut up like a piece of meat, she was raped. We found traces of the drug Vertigo in her system. That will take time to clear her blood and stop the effects. Her physical state is a mess, but those wounds will heal. She will have trouble walking; she will need physical therapy. She may never have children, the wounds in and around her pelvic area along with the injuries she sustained are appalling. She has a very long road ahead of her. Her mental state is another story; I fear for her. I fear that she will not come back from this. I hope Ms. Smoak is a very strong person, she will need therapy to help her through this along with very strong friends and family."

"We will be with her every single step of the way." Oliver said more to himself then to the doctor. How was he going to go back out there to that waiting room and tell the others what had happened to their friend. How was he supposed to believe in good when the best thing that has ever happened to him is laying in a hospital bed wanting to die.

"Thank you doctor, when can we see her?"

"I will take you there now, but only two per visit and the visits can't be very long. Felicity needs her rest right now." The doctor walked ahead of Oliver. He motioned for Diggle to come along once in eye shot of the black man. He would talk to the others at once, back at the post. He couldn't do it right now, he had to see his blonde love. His stomach was going to empty its contents at any second, that he was for sure of. He will not ever leave the blonde's side, that was another thing he was for sure of. But one thing he wasn't for sure on is what he would do when he found the person responsible for Felicity's injuries. He wasn't for sure that he would be able to save that said person's life. He wanted revenge, he wanted to feel better about the whole situation with Felicity he wanted nothing more than to protect her and he failed her. He failed Starling City.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing; this is raw meaning no beta no edit… give it time. By the way, it seems like I do write very long stories… so stay with me…

The room was darkened, only the small recess light from above the hospital bed shone. The room, it felt cold and Oliver instantly wrapped his arms around himself. Diggle stood behind Queen doing the same. The room was so quiet, only the sounds of the machines could be heard. Oliver wanted to hear her voice, he wanted her to be telling him some high technical thing he didn't understand. Nothing like that was happening. Nothing was going on but the machines beeping and the small framed body lying under the stark white sheet and blanket was there. She looked so small laying in the hospital bed and Oliver slowly walked toward the side. He looked down and took in a deep breath, raising his eyes he looked out to the darkened night sky. How could he had allowed this to happen? He placed his hand into hers and gave Felicity's hand a small squeeze, he was there for her and he would always be there. He had let her down, he had allowed her to be tortured by a mad man, but he would find that man and he would make him pay for every second of hurt he caused his blonde love.

Oliver pushed a strand of blonde hair away from Felicity's face, her eye was so swollen he didn't know if she would ever be able to open it again. A white patch covered the other side of her forehead, she looked so pale, almost the same stark white color of the pillow her head laid on.

He knew she was sedated; he knew it was a possibility that she couldn't even hear his words, but he had to get them out, or his chest, throat, and heart was going to bust open.

"I'm sorry Felicity... I'm sorry this happen to you." Tears formed in Arrow's eyes and he didn't bother to brush them away. He didn't care if his best friend was standing behind him and saw them. The only thing he cared about was Felicity and finding the person responsible for her hurt. His hurt from finding out about Felicity wasn't compared to the hurt he was feeling now, now it was much more.

"I promise you though, I promise that I will find the one that did this to you and I will end them. I will make this all better. Felicity I love you… guess you didn't know that did you?" Oliver swiped away at the tears that were now flowing down his cheeks as he raised his head up and smiled. He loved her and he told her he loved, she may not have heard him but he said it, it put it out there, he loved Felicity. She looked terrible, looked as though she had already left this world. It pained Oliver Queen to have to watch the hospital monitors to make sure his love was still with him. There was an eerie cold that seeped into Oliver's bones, seeped into his heart and mind. A cold that like nothing he had ever felt before. Oliver felt like his heart was bleeding. He needed revenge, he needed this for himself, for his friends, for his family, for his love.

"I will be back" Oliver said squeezing Felicity's hand. He turned away and looked to his best friend Diggle.

"I will talk with the others then we are going to find who done this Dig, we will find them and we will make them pay for what they done to Felicity."

John Diggle nodded his head, he didn't have to speak. He could see the pain and sadness in Oliver's eyes and knew Arrow meant business. Dig knew that his friend was a torn soul, hell he was to after Oliver's leaving gave him a clear view of his blonde friend.

Diggle walked closer to the bedside, it felt like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden. It felt like someone had stabbed him deep within his heart and the tears pooled in his eyes. How could someone be so demented that they would want to hurt Felicity, he wondered. Thoughts of what she must have went through during her time in the hands of a mad man came to Diggle's mind. There was so many emotions running through him, hate, anger, fury, but most of all hurt. All the emotions started to rush out of him, he felt he was losing control. He loved Felicity and she was what felt to him, a little sister. Diggle covered Felicity's hand with his and took notice how much bigger his hand was. Felicity's hand looked so small and so frail. Felicity was everything that was good, everything that was truth and loyal. Whoever stood next to the blonde IT tech was always moved by her. John Diggle knew without a doubt that if Felicity didn't pull through this intact with her mind and soul that team Arrow would lose more than just the blonde IT tech. Diggle closed his eyes and squeezed Felicity's hand a little tighter before walking from the room. There was work to be done. There was going to be a war raging and he was for sure to be a part of it.

Laurel couldn't believe what was being told to her. Oliver Queen was standing in front of her, Thea and Detective Lance giving them the information the doctor had given to him. Tears flowed freely down the girl's cheeks and neither one temping to stop them. How could this be happening to them? How could their very own Felicity, their computer tech, their friend be in this shape.

Detective Lance didn't know what to do, he paced the floor in front of him. His daughter was hurting over her friend, hell he was hurting over Felicity Smoak, he really liked the mouthy blonde. Felicity was something special to each and every one of them in her own way.

"Ollie what does all this mean? Is Felicity going to be okay? She is right?" Thea asked once Oliver was done speaking. She wrapped her arms around her big brother, she knew the love he had for the blonde and knew that along with everyone else, he was breaking into pieces.

"I don't know Thea, I don't know. But we have work to do."

Thea broke the hug and went to stand next to Laurel. She was mad, she was beyond mad. Felicity was one person that would never even hurt a fly, she cared strongly for her friends and had more compassion then all of the team put together. Many times over she had showed that compassion with each and every single one of them. Thea had contacted her father Malcolm, she hated to tangle with him on most days but she needed his help with this. She didn't want to lose Felicity and her brother. She knew Malcolm could help and knew whenever she called upon him, he was there.

Oliver had to sit down, everything was rushing to him. He walked over to one of the chairs in the same waiting room he had been in when waiting on news of the blonde. He placed his head into his hands, he had to take a minute, he had to gather his thoughts together, he had to get the vision of his love lying in that hospital bed out of his mind. He had work to do and a team to assemble to get that work done. It was going to be a long road ahead of Felicity and he would make sure that he was with her every step of the way, he wouldn't give up on her, he wouldn't let her down. Oliver had wanted to wait until they were all back at the lair before he told everyone, but once in the waiting room he seen them all still waiting on word and couldn't hold off any longer. He had to get it out. To say it didn't hurt with each word that came from his mouth, to see his sister and friends shed unwanted tears, it would be a lie. It hurt so bad, he didn't know how each word came to mine or was even voiced but all the same they were said. He told the team everything, he told them everything the doctor had relayed to him. Now he needed a minute to compose himself and get a job done and get back to his love.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing; I do mean nothing… This is raw, meaning no beta no edit... I tend to write long stories so please stay with me…

"Someone attacked Felicity Smoak, do you know anything about it?" Anger rushed through Arrow as he held the street thug up against the stone wall. "Who is pushing Vertigo in this city again?" Arrow yelled. "Tell me… NOW!"

"I don't know man; I don't know what you are talking about."

"Yes you do, tell me who is selling Vertigo? Who attacked my friend?" Oliver requested as he took the arrow in his hand and plunged it into the white man's shoulder.

"I don't know nothing." The thug screamed in pain.

"You do and you will tell me!" Oliver pushed the arrow deeper within the man's shoulder.

The street thug's scream could be heard from a distance. Arrow was on a mission, he wanted revenge, he wanted answers.

Oliver Queen had hit up every known drug runner in the city since Felicity's attack and not one answer had he gotten so far. He was losing control of the situation, he wanted answers fast and he had nothing to go on.

The team had gone back to the empty warehouse where Felicity was found. Each person walking around with their throat in their stomach not being able to say anything. Blood, lots of dried blood covered the table and floor in the large room Felicity was kept in. Laurel and Thea had yet to see the scene that haunted Diggle and Oliver's minds. Detective Lance had tried to explain to his daughter what it looked like, what he had found when they went into the warehouse but it was nothing compared to seeing it for real. Nothing could had prepared the females seeing the area where their friend was held captive and tortured. Filth littered the warehouse, tons of newspapers from different cities and states was strung everywhere. Blood stained floor, table and newspapers. Take-out food boxes sat in various different places of the warehouse. Laurel knew that the police had taken a lot of blood samples and drink cups along with the plastic forks from the dinner trays for evidence. But all test came back clean, the blood samples belonging to Felicity.

Oliver walked around the warehouse, Felicity on his mind. Visions of her smile, visions of her working at her computer while being witty with her words. He could hear her voice in his mind, those were the actions that he wanted to hold on to, not the visions of when they rescued her. Every day he went to the hospital to sit with Felicity, she was still sedated but he sat next to her bed holding her hand, talking to her. He kept telling her how sorry he was for not protecting her, and how he loved her. He wanted to hear her laugh, he wanted to hear her voice but most of all he wanted to see her eyes. He wanted to stare into them and voice to her how much love he had for her. Why had he waited so long to tell her what she meant to him, what amount of love he had for her. Why hadn't he protected her? The doctors wanted to take her off sedation in less than four hours and Oliver wanted to be there when that happened. The medical staff already warned the team of what could happen once she wasn't under sedation. Oliver was terrified to say the least at hearing what could happen. Would she be confused, would she be erratic, would she be okay?

"I don't want to be screwed with any longer. Who attacked my friend?" Oliver took another arrow from his quiver.

"Enough!" John Diggle shouted as he walked toward his best friend. The team stood around watching the scene unfold. The last few nights had been rough on the team watching as Oliver looked for answers.

"No he knows something and he will tell me." Oliver shouted pushing Diggle away from him. He was getting angrier by the minute, he wanted his answers. Diggle tried to place his hand on his friend's shoulder once more. Oliver needed to calm down, he needed to stay focused. They had everyone looking for the person that tortured their friend. Even Malcolm was busting the streets and his contacts. Whoever done this was good to cover his tracks. He was invisible to the team. The team couldn't find any trace of Felicity's attacker nowhere in the warehouse. Oliver hated the feeling of losing control of the situation. He didn't want to wait for something else to happen before they could get a hint on this person, he didn't want anyone else found in his city, the way that his blonde friend was found.

Oliver seemed to take back focus and pushed away from the man he was harassing. This was bringing them nothing. He walked away a few steps and let out a scream that tore through the team's hearts. They knew their friend was having a hard time dealing with Felicity and the attack. He may not show it but they all knew that Oliver blamed himself for it. He always did blame himself for anything that went wrong, that was Oliver's way. How could Felicity's attacker be invisible to the team, how could they not leave one trace of who they are. Everything was a dead end road for the team, everything.

"Let's go!" Oliver said before leaving the area knowing that his team would follow. He wanted to go to Felicity, he would rather had gone to her knowing that her attacker had been taken care of but he wanted to see her no matter what.

The team had resembled at the hospital, all standing in the hallway. Sleep was something each of them was doing without these days. Between looking for Felicity's attacker and jobs along with being with their blonde friend, sleep was nonexistent as of late. Each member looked tired and worn down. Oliver could see it in their eyes, he would demand them to go home and sleep but he couldn't ask them to do something he wouldn't dare do. The doctors had already brought Felicity out of sedation and the blonde had yet to wake up. They were informed she would wake up when she knew it was time. Well it was time Oliver thought as he stood in the hallway waiting to go into the room that held his love, his life.

"You may go in now; she hasn't wakened yet but I feel it will be soon. All vital signs are wonderful and she is improving. She was running a slight fever so we are keeping a watch for infection. All her dressings have been clean and replaced and we started her on a higher dose of antibiotics that should ward off infection. Time will tell." The tall dark haired doctor said what he needed to say and took his leave.

Oliver walked into the room knowing Laurel, Diggle, and Thea was close on his heels. Thea had been awesome through everything and had been the one staying with Felicity during the day when no one else was there. Oliver could only stay in the room a little at a time, it seemed his rage wanted to always take control and be heard. Felicity's eye was starting to look a lot better, the swelling almost gone. The bruising looked horrible. Oliver wanted to run his hand over it and just make it all better, but he knew none of this was better by doing anything but finding the one that done this, he knew that his hands couldn't heal, he just wished they did. He stood close to her beside with Thea and Laurel on the other side. The nurses had closed the shades blocking out the bright sunlight. He liked that. Diggle stood at the bottom of the bed, he always seems to have a hard time being in the room. Oliver knew that Dig and Felicity had formed a tight friendship with each other and he hoped that friendship stayed intact forever.

The team was in the hospital room for what felt like hours, each lost in their own thoughts. Laurel walked around pacing and Diggle standing like a statue against the wall at the bottom of the bed. Oliver sat in the chair still holding on to the blonde's hand. He didn't ever want to let go of her. Thea sat in a chair on the other side of Felicity, willing the blonde to wake up, willing her to be okay. Felicity started to moan making everyone jump. She had been off sedation for many hours and they all wanted her to wake up.

"Felicity, we all are here." Oliver spoke softly so not to startle the blonde too much. The doctors had come and went throughout the day checking on their patient. Apparently Felicity was on the right track and there was no worry that needed to be there.

"We are here Felicity; can you wake up for us?" Thea asked the blonde, she just wanted to see her open her eyes.

Suddenly Felicity's eyes shot open and a loud scream escaped her throat. Oliver tried to calm her he placed his hand on her shoulder, repeating to her that she wasn't alone, that he was there next to her. She kept screaming, Oliver looked to his friends. Thea and Laurel both were crying, tears flowing freely down their cheeks as neither one knew what to do to help their friend. John went to Felicity's other side pushing Thea out of the way, he placed his hand on her right shoulder. He was scared that Felicity was going to hurt herself thrashing around. He started yelling for a doctor, he didn't want to see his friend hurt anymore.

Nurses along with two doctors ran into the room making everyone leave, Felicity's screams could be heard throughout the hospital and once the team was in the hallway, Oliver held Thea in his arms as she cried harder. Diggle did the same with Laurel, their friend was hurting and there was nothing they could do to stop that hurt, nothing.

"Get the straps, strap her arms down!" One of the doctors could be heard yelling at one of his nurses. The blonde haired nurse that always reminded Oliver of Thea ran from the room.

"No ...no... no... Ollie they are going to strap her down. She can't be strapped down Ollie, please no" Thea cried, she could only imagine what Felicity would do. When Diggle and Oliver had told her that Felicity was found strapped to a table, she couldn't handle the thought of strapping her friend down again. Oliver pushed Thea toward Laurel and Dig as he rushed into the room. Felicity was thrashing and the medical staff was trying their best to hold her down, which seem to make it worse. He knew they were afraid that she was going to hurt herself further but seeing his friend made his heart bleed yet again.

"Stop! You're hurting her!" Oliver went to one of the doctors and pushed him away from Felicity not realizing his own strength until the dark haired tall doctor flew up against the wall.

"Out, get out this is my patient and we can't allow her to hurt herself any further. OUT!" The doctor corrected himself and started pushing Oliver back out of the hospital room. Oliver was yelling the entire time that they couldn't do this to her that they were hurting her. Diggle grabbed hold of his best friend, holding him tight and pushing him toward the end of the hall where there was a small waiting room.

"Let them do their job Oliver. This is hard man I know but she could hurt herself, just let them do their job" Diggle pushed Oliver toward a chair. Laurel and Thea close on their heels. Tears streaming down the female's cheeks. It killed them inside, it killed each of the team member's inside to see their friend like this. Felicity didn't deserve any of this, she was everything good, she was everything precious.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing…. Raw no beta no edit…

Felicity liked the dark, she liked not being able to see around her. The sounds trying to break through to her sounded stifled. She liked it like that. What she didn't like was her brain seemed to be confused. She didn't know why she was in the dark; she didn't know why the sounds were muffled. She didn't understand what was going on. But she did like the dark, if the sounds would go away and just leave the dark she would be happy like that.

Was she dreaming, she didn't know. She could hear voices but couldn't tell who they belonged to. She wanted the darkness to take her away again. She was trying to open her eyes; those voices were getting on her nerves. Why did she hurt so bad? Why did it feel like she was run over by a large semi-truck? The pain was starting to bug her; it was starting to get worse as she started to open her eyes. Did she get drunk last night she wondered? God her head was throbbing, her eye was in pain, there seem to be pain in many places. She wanted the dark to come back, take her back to her safe place where there were no voices, or no pain.

Suddenly images of what happen to her started to flood her mind, pain started to overtake her body. She opened her eyes quickly, and too many people were standing around her. She wanted her darkness, she wanted to get away from everything, she wanted the images to stay far from her mind. But they kept coming, the images coming back like a bad horror movie. She started to scream, she screamed for the pain to leave, for the images to leave. She felt the hands of many people roaming over her body, she wanted them to leave her alone.

"Doctor do we sedate her again?" A female voice said, Felicity barely understood the words. All she understood was the pain, the horrible images flooding her mind.

"NO, get the straps. Strap down her arms or she is going to hurt herself. Give her 2.5 mg of propofol to calm her but no sedation."

Felicity didn't know what was going on around her, there was a commotion at the door, but for some reason she couldn't make herself stop screaming. She could barely make out visible images of who was around her, she couldn't make out the faces. Her vision was blurry, her throat felt as though razor blades was ripping through it. She felt the people hold her down, she felt soft straps going across her arms. She screamed until she couldn't scream. Her throat failed her finally, she didn't feel the needle as it was injected into her arm, she only felt herself starting to go limp. She couldn't move her arms again and that scared her. He legs felt heavy, her entire body felt heavy. Her throat was on fire, her eyes burned and tears rolled freely from them.

"Keep her under watch, keep the straps on and stay with the propofol every six hours." The doctor ordered before he left the room.

Felicity figured out she was in a hospital, she figured out that it was a nurse talking to her in a soothing tone. She tried to raise her head but it felt so heavy. She had been in the darkness, she remembered hearing voices around her. She remembered Oliver's voice telling her he loved her. She remembered Diggle's voice telling her to be strong. She remembered Thea reading to her and telling her how much she was loved and missed. She remembered Laurel talking to her telling her that she had to get better or they were going to lose more than her. The memories started to flood her mind. She thought about Oliver and Diggle finding her, finding her in the shape she was in. She never wanted for either of them to see her like that. She started to remember everything and she didn't want to remember everything. She wanted the darkness back. She wanted the drug to take control of her again. She wanted to be dead.

Once the nurse was finished with her task Felicity heard her leave the room. She didn't know if it was a relief to be alone or not. She was trying to keep the bad images away from her mind. She felt sluggish, her body felt heavy. The pain was tolerable but still there. She was left alone with her thoughts and she allowed more tears to flow. She hurt so bad.

It wasn't long before she heard the door open, she turned her head to see her friends coming into the room. She didn't want them to see her like this, she didn't want them to feel bad for her.

"Hey Felicity" Thea said coming up to the side of the bed. She hated to see Felicity strapped down.

Felicity didn't say anything; she couldn't get her voice to work. Her throat was so raw. She couldn't get the tears to stop. She was trying so hard. She decided it would be best to look toward the ceiling.

Oliver walked to the side of the bed as Thea moved. He quickly wiped a tear from Felicity's cheek and watched as the blonde tensed up. She actually tried to move from his touch and he couldn't understand that. Why would she not want him to touch her?

"Felicity we are here; you will be okay. I promise" Oliver spoke softly. Felicity was trying her best not to look at Oliver, she was staring at the ceiling, the tears coming to almost a stop. She was trying to think of something else, anything else.

Every time Oliver would speak Felicity would tense, Oliver hated seeing that so he stopped talking all together. She seemed to be alright when Laurel and Thea talked to her, she wouldn't tense as much, so he couldn't understand why she always tensed when he spoke. It pained him to see her in this shape, it hurt his heart so much that he couldn't talk to his love, he wanted to tell her everything he thought about her he wanted her to know that he would be there for her always and that he was sorry he didn't protect her but he would never fail her again. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for the argument they had gotten into for calling her stupid. Oliver stood against the wall and watched as Thea took over his spot and held onto Felicity's hand. He could tell that Felicity didn't want to be touched at all but she endured Thea's touch. He watched as pain crossed the blonde's face and knew that she was hurting. He hated to see her in pain. However; It was all answered when Diggle spoke to Felicity and she tensed up and started to cry again. It was a man's voice that haunted Felicity. Every time Oliver touched Felicity's arm she would try to get away from him. She couldn't bare for him to touch her. She couldn't bare to hear his voice or Diggle's. He had no idea what exactly Felicity went through but he knew that she was still going through it and he was mad. It angered him that his friend was still being tortured and he was sitting there watching it.

Oliver stood up to take his leave, he motioned for Diggle to follow him.

"I will be back soon Felicity." Diggle placed his hand on Felicity's left foot. Oliver watched as she tried to move away and looked toward his friends. They noticed too. Diggle looked defeated. Felicity had shielded away from him. He looked toward Thea and she nodded her head, she would stay with Felicity. She would keep watch over the woman he loved when he couldn't.

Once in the hallway the two men turned toward each other.

"I can't stand this Oliver." Diggle said looking down at his hands. When he had touched Felicity's foot she acted as if he had burnt her or something. It hurt to see that, it hurt him to see his blonde friend like this. He stood there and stared at his hands, how could they have caused that?

"We have to give it time Dig, she is hurting." Oliver said to himself more than he did his best friend. "We know what needs to be done, if we could just find who done this. I don't want to push Felicity right now and question her. I don't want to hurt her any more than she is already hurting."

"What do we do then Oliver? How do we find this person?" Diggle was all out of answers.

"I don't know. I will keep Thea or Laurel here with her maybe one of them can get her to talk. Now that she is awake I figure Lance will be busting the door down to talk to her. I will talk to Laurel about that."

Oliver wouldn't tell John Diggle but it hurt, it hurt bad that he couldn't even touch or speak to Felicity. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and never let her go, he wanted nothing more than to protect her from everything evil. Right now he was going to do the only thing he knew to do, beat the streets again. He let Diggle know his plans and he left the hospital. Standing outside in the parking lot, the sun going down and the sky turning dark he looked to the window where he knew Felicity's room was located.

"I'm sorry" he simply said before leaving the hospital grounds all together.

His attention was focused on Felicity and how to fix things that he didn't notice the man standing close to the entrance reading a newspaper. The same man that was always standing in the shadows either in the hallway or outside of the hospital. Neither member of the team saw the man. They were to fixated with their blonde friend. They never left her alone, someone was always with her.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing! I tend to write very long stories so stay with me…

One month Oliver and his team beat the streets, one-month Felicity was in the hospital healing, one month of let downs, one month of still finding nothing. Oliver Queen was at a lost, who the hell was Felicity's attacker and why the hell did they attack the blonde. He had already run out of leads, there was nothing left. He was tired, the team was tired. Between Donna Smoak storming into their lives and the endless nights, Oliver never slept. He would sit in the hallway across from Felicity's room as she healed. He heard what doctors and nurses would say, he heard Laurel, Thea or Donna speaking with Felicity and Felicity's low defeated voice. Every time he could hear Felicity speak, his heart was ripped out more and more. She sounded unlike Felicity, she sounded so sad, depressed, lost and most of all hurt. It wasn't their talkative Felicity anymore. Many times he had to stop himself from going into her room and scooping her up into his arms and telling her how important she was, how loved that she was. Oliver had heard many times Thea or Laurel and even Donna express to Felicity those same things. But each and every time Oliver or Diggle or any man for that matter was brought up, Felicity would put up a shield and stop talking. She was hurt, she was hurt bad and had a very long road ahead of her. Appointments with physical therapist were set up, her breaks were healing good and it was time for Felicity to go home. He along with John Diggle made sure that Felicity's apartment was ready for when the blonde went home. Thea would be staying four days and Laurel the next four days with the blonde, never leaving her alone. Felicity had anxiety when it came to darkened rooms and men's voices. Felicity had trouble with a lot in life these days and that pained Oliver. Many early mornings he sat in the hallway listening as a nightmare over took his love and she screamed out. Many days he sat in the hallway listening to conversations he so wanted to be a part of. One time she caught him in the hallway, he saw how cold her eyes had become before she quickly turned her head away. Several times when the physical therapist in the hospital walked slowly with Felicity down the hall he would hide in the shadows around corners just to get a look and what he saw made everything that much worse. She wobbled on her feet, her pelvis still giving pain, her skin a pale color. But her eyes showed nothing, they were cold and that scared him.

Thea and Laurel both had filled Oliver in on Felicity's daily routine, she was like a zombie, doing as she was told and nothing more. She didn't care if they walked her, she didn't care what she ate, she didn't care what medicine was placed in her body. The hardest hit to them all was when Felicity begged for the drug that she was injected with while she was tortured. She screamed, cried and begged for the awful drug that killed many people in the past and almost killed her.

Diggle was in hurt just as much as Oliver. He wanted nothing more than to see his friend, see her laugh and rake them over the coals so to speak. He kept his emotions and concerns to himself. Diggle didn't want to add more to his best friend. He stood in the hallway many times watching his friend, watching as Oliver would clench his fist when Felicity was over taken by a nightmare. He watched both his friends fade into someone they weren't. Diggle had to be strong though, for the girls for his best friend, for himself but most of all for Felicity Smoak. He along with Oliver had purchased everything Felicity would need once she made it home. The girls finished everything else up and Thea moved some of her stuff in the spare bedroom of Felicity's apartment as Laurel did the same. Felicity would not be left alone.

Today was the day, it was a crisp October morning and the team were standing in the hallway of the hospital. Today Felicity Smoak would return home. Donna had to return to Vegas and had left a few days before, making sure to call Thea and Felicity at least four times a day. Donna had spoken to Oliver before leaving, letting him know not to give up on her daughter. That was something that he didn't need to promise because that was something he would never do. He loved Felicity with every fiber in him, she had made him a new man, she had showed him what kind of person he was and wanted to be. He would forever be there for the blonde, he vowed to that.

Oliver and Diggle stood in the hallway as the nurse pushed the wheel chair out of the room with Thea carrying most of Felicity's stuff handing it off to the two men. Felicity actually looked their way and said "hi". The first word spoken to them in what Oliver felt was forever. It made his heart tender to hear that one simple word from Felicity. He looked to Diggle and seen that it had even lightened his mood. Neither man wanted to actually be there when she was released but now glad they were. Oliver would hang on to that moment for the rest of his life. He didn't want to put false hope in his mind but none the less he wasn't about to let that one moment leave.

Thea and Laurel would drive Felicity home with Oliver and Diggle close behind. Laurel had gone on ahead to bring her car around the front of the hospital and was there waiting for them. Once Felicity was loaded in the car they all were on their way to her apartment. No one taking notice of the man sitting on the bench in front of the hospital reading the newspaper but seeing everything.

Felicity didn't seem to mind everyone in her apartment. She seemed okay with Oliver and Diggle even being around. She still tensed up when she heard their voices. Neither man had yet to try and touch her, they didn't want a repeat. Laurel had claimed that she was the same way when her father questioned her. Thea helped Felicity into the master bedroom of the apartment and both her and laurel helped their blonde friend clean up and change into comfortable pajamas. Oliver and Diggle stayed in the living room talking lowly so not to disturb the ladies.

"Oliver I got something on my mind."

"Yeah?" Oliver put the picture frame back on the mantle above the fireplace that held the picture of Felicity and her mother. Better times, both smiling.

"When we were leaving there was this guy sitting on the bench in front of the hospital reading a newspaper." Diggle

"Yeah, so what are you thinking about Diggle?" Oliver asked not really paying attention to what Diggle was saying, his attention was on Felicity and if she was alright.

"Well I've seen that same man throughout the hospital doing that exact same thing. Only thing that gets me is, why was he on that bench? It's cold and there are places just for that located in the hospital." Diggle finally got Oliver's attention.

"What? You see him before?" Oliver asked walking close to his friend. Maybe this was a conversation he didn't want the girls to overhear yet.

"Yeah I think so man. You think it could be Felicity's attacker? Maybe this is stupid, maybe I'm just grasping at straws man."

"No… no I think it's something to look into. Try and get the hospital's security cameras, maybe we can go over them and find something." Oliver was in mission mode. Maybe Diggle was on to something. He never took notice of a man reading a newspaper but to be fair his attention was all on Felicity. He would work this clue; he would work this new develop because he would protect his blonde.

Once Thea and Laurel got Felicity comfortable on the couch, with the t.v. remote and medicine close by with a bottle of water the rest of the team went to the kitchen to talk. Oliver and Diggle filled them in what was going on and Laurel agreed to go with Diggle to get the security footage. Thea would stay with Felicity and keep watch over her. Oliver felt safe with that. Oliver stood in the kitchen and listened as Diggle and Laurel said their goodbyes and that they would be by later on. He slowly walked back into the living room, to see Felicity staring at the t.v. not really paying attention to what was around her. Thea silently made her way into the spare room talking about a quick shower then she would make popcorn for her and Felicity, leaving Oliver and Felicity alone.

Oliver sat down on the coffee table in front of Felicity, his voice low and soothing, he didn't want to scare Felicity. When she looked at him her head almost turned in a mechanical manner. She didn't tense up; she didn't try to get away from him. He didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

"how are you?" Oliver asked.

"Fine." Simple but a start Oliver thought.

"Do you need anything?"

"No." okay so one word responses.

"Felicity, I'm sorry this happen to you. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you."

"I don't blame you Oliver. I blame me." Oliver was flown in a loop. How could she blame herself for her attack?

"You are not to blame Felicity. The person that did this to you is to blame. Felicity listen to me…" Oliver went to take a hold of Felicity's hand and she jerked away from him.

"Felicity I'm not going to hurt you; do you understand that. I love you Felicity and I know I should have already told you this and I know that I should have protected you."

"Oliver please you don't love me. You can't love me. No one can love me." Felicity started to cry. He hated to see her tears and hated the fact that he was the one to make her cry.

"Yes Felicity I love you." Oliver wanted to wipe tears from the blonde's cheeks but didn't. He didn't want to cause her anymore pain.

"No one can love me, no one can Oliver." Felicity placed her hands over her face and cried harder. He did love her though and he would tell her over and over it meant she understood his words.

"Felicity listen…"

"No Oliver, I can't listen anymore." Felicity didn't want to talk anymore; she didn't want to hear his words. She wanted all this to be over.

"I will be here for you; I'm not going anywhere. Whenever you need me I will be here Felicity." Oliver tried to take Felicity's hand into his again, this time she didn't stop him.

Oliver looked into Felicity's red rimmed eyes. The tears were starting to come to a stop. That he was thankful for. It tore his heart a part every time she cried. He held her delicate hand in his and rubbed the top with his thumb. It felt so right for her hand to be in his.

"Felicity I do love you and I should have already told you this. I shouldn't have called you stupid, you're not stupid you are the smartest woman I know and I miss you Felicity." Oliver felt his own tears threating to fall, he wouldn't stop them. He wanted her to know just how much he did love her. He was expressing his love for her and she was trying her best to push him away.

Felicity took her hand away and tried to get up from the couch, she stumbled a little and Oliver was there to hold her. Placing his hands on either side of her hips. She tensed the hardest she had ever when he touched her body and let out a small scream. She was starting to be in pain, she was starting to get nervous she needed to get away from him. Once she was steady on her feet she slowly walked forward and toward her room. She knew Oliver was close to her, she could feel him. He helped her into her bedroom and then helped her climb into her bed.

"I want to sleep Oliver."

"Okay, Thea will be here Felicity, but I will be back I promise you that. I love you…" Oliver spoke softly.

"Oliver, no one can love me anymore. Please understand that. No one can. I can't even love myself any longer. Love for me is no longer there." Felicity closed her eyes leaving no room for any more conversation.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing; this is raw no beta no edit... I hope you enjoy! It may be after Christmas before I post chapter Ten, just thought would give a heads up. I may get it posted but may not... we shall see. Thanks to everyone that is staying with me.

Gray Collins was one to always watch the damage he had completed in someone's life. It gave him great pleasure to see pain and hurt in his victims. As he sat at the end of the hallway of the local hospital he could hear that blonde girl scream. He raised his head and closed his eyes, taking in the screams as if it was the scent of a fresh baked pumpkin spice muffin. He would sit close by every single day, to perceive what damage was done. He had to know if it was safe for him to make his way back out in the city. He had laid low long enough and he was like a caged tiger, he wanted more.

He knew team Arrow was looking for him, but he also knew who exactly team Arrow was. Oliver Queen the rich playboy of the city, that was one that he would had never pegged. His dear little sister and Laurel the ex-girlfriend along with the Army vet was what made up of the team. He liked that information, he liked knowing certain things. He laughed almost silently to himself. How easy was that to find out. He knew the blonde IT tech was with Arrow he found out that much. Plus, the added bonus he come to discover was Oliver Queen, the Arrow was in love with the blonde named Felicity. Everything was starting to fit in place like a perfectly shaped puzzle for Gray Collins and he was very excited.

He sat on the cold bench watching as the team loaded their hurt friend into the car. How perfect he could take each and every one of them out right now if he wanted to. But he didn't, he only wanted Arrow gone, the rest would just be an extra. He would go back to his compound outside the city and gathered up his own men. He had plans for the city and he wanted to see them through, no matter what that may include. For now though he had a job.

He followed the team to a nice looking apartment complex within the city. He pulled to the side of the street and placed his car in park, took out his favorite thing, a newspaper to hide behind. He would keep watch for a little while. Just to make sure all seemed to be on the up and up.

All Gray Collins wanted was to run the city, there were more drugs sold in Starling City then any city he had every tried to do busy in. He liked that, he liked the money. He had rounded up some trusted men that he believed he could depend on to do his bidding, and if they couldn't, then they were expendable he had no care either way.

As he sat watching the street below the hospital, he thought back to when he had Felicity Smoak in his grasp. It had felt good to hear the blonde scream, then felt even better when she begged for death. That is how he liked his victims.

It wasn't long before he started to see movement around the apartment, the window shades had been closed as soon as the friends had walked in. Laurel and John Diggle was the two to leave the apartment, looked as though they were on a mission as fast as they were leaving. They didn't bother him; they were nothing to him. He stayed where he was, continued to watch the apartment. Oliver Queen had yet to leave, that's the one he wanted. That was his target.

Gray Collins threw the newspaper into the passage seat, where was Oliver Queen, he couldn't stay in the apartment forever now could he. Just as Gray thought Oliver may have gone out another way, he came from the apartment building and climbed into his sisters bright red sports car and drove away from the apartment complex. That only left the IT tech and Oliver's sister in the apartment alone, oh how he wanted to pay them a visit but maybe another time.

Collins quickly started his silver jeep wrangler and got in behind Oliver, where they were heading he wasn't for sure but he wasn't going to lose him. He wanted to know everything about the man, he wanted to know where he hid out most days, he wanted to do know what he ate, what he enjoyed other than the blonde of course. He wanted to learn the man and learn how to take him down. Without the Arrow running around in the streets it made a clear path for Collins and his drugs and money.

Oliver stopped in front of a bakery. He got out of the car and ran into the store. Seriously this is the places this man went.

Throughout the day Collins followed Oliver around, making meaningless stops for this or that. He was taking him nowhere; he was doing him no good. He should just take him out at the next chance he thought to himself after they had stopped at another eatery place. Oliver Queen was starting to get on his last nerve, he couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand not getting what he wanted.

He followed Oliver Queen back to the apartment complex and was mad, he left the street to go back to his compound, one of his men can do this job and he would rely on one of them. He had plans to move forward with and complete. He wasn't aware of Oliver standing in the apartment window staring at him. That was his second mistake, his first being Felicity.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten:

Disclaimer: I own nothing… promise that. Raw… no beta no edit.

College has started back up for me so the chapters may come slowly, but they will be there soon.

Oliver wasn't a stupid man that was one thing for sure. He caught sight of the man that followed him throughout the day the minute he pulled onto the street. Oliver knew exactly what was happening and he was delighted to play along. He quickly called Diggle explaining what was going on and what he was going to do. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know who the man was following him, he just wished he knew the name. Oliver had gotten a really good look at the guy and now knew exactly what he looked like. An older man maybe in his 50's with dark hair, medium built and wearing a gray tailored suit. He looked more like a business man than an attacker, a torturer. He knew it had to be Felicity's attacker and the only thing that kept him from stopping in the middle of the road and getting out to beat the life from the man was Diggle's voice in his ear. Oliver could feel the rage in him wanting to take control. He hated how his conversation with Felicity went. He knew she was hurting and he knew that she was in a very dark place, he hated it. This man was at fault for that. Oliver hadn't meant to put his hands on her hips, it was instinct to catch her before she fell. She felt as though she could never be loved, she was so wrong. After knowing everything that happen to her, he still loved her with everything good. He was mad, but he wasn't mad at Felicity, he was mad for what she went through, mad for what was going through her mind making her feel unloved. He was mad for not protecting her, mad at the whole situation. But he was scared, scared that he would never get Felicity back. He was scared that they would lose her and that was something he couldn't handle in his life. He would make sure every single day she knew how he felt about her. He only saw coldness in Felicity's eyes when she would look him in the eye, it hurt for him to see that. Felicity wasn't alone, he would make sure of that. She would never feel unloved, lonely or on her own as long as he had something to do with it.

Oliver stopped into the bakery and picked up Felicity's favorite pastries, and even added Thea's favorite to the list. He wanted to make his girls happy. Thea had been heaven sent helping Felicity and he couldn't repay her even if he tried. He made a quick phone call to Thea while in the bakery waiting for his order to be filled. He let her know what was going on and be prepared just in case. She had reported to him that Felicity was awake just lying on the bed on her side staring at the shade drawn window. She also reported that Felicity wanted to take more pain pills even though she had given the blonde one when they had walked into the apartment before getting Felicity cleaned up.

Oliver was worried about that to say the least. It wasn't like Felicity, but Felicity wasn't the person she was over a month ago. He remembered back to when he would hear her pleads for vertigo and how she begged for it, cried for it and even screamed for it. He wanted to talk to her about it and he would when he found the right time. He was scared she was going somewhere that she would never be able to come back from.

Oliver walked back over to the window for a quick look after putting his phone back in his pocket. The man was sitting in his car with a newspaper… a newspaper, why hadn't he seen all this before he thought to himself. The young girl from the counter let him know that his order was ready and he quickly paid and went to Thea's car. Keeping his eye trained on the guy in the silver jeep wrangler he went to his next destination. He would lead the sorry soul all over the city until Diggle and Laurel could get the footage from the hospital and then get with him.

After what seemed like many hours and many stops later, Oliver went back to the apartment complex knowing that Diggle and Laurel had made it back to the apartment and was standing watch over Felicity and Thea.

"No, just leave Felicity alone we can do this." Oliver heard Thea say strongly to the two friends sitting on the couch. The trio seemed to come down with the case of closed mouth once Oliver made his appearance.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, we were just getting ready to watch the footage that we retrieved from the hospital security cameras." Diggle stated turning his attention to the t.v. and the suddenly exciting remote in his hand. It seemed like everyone was on edge with what happened to Felicity, he could say the same about himself.

"Felicity?" Oliver asked handing over the day's purchases to his sister. Felicity seemed to be on his mind most minutes of the day. That was something he didn't want to change though.

"She was sleeping when I checked in on her a little while ago. I gave her another pain killer, she said the pain was unbearable." Thea looked sad when she spoke. They all were sad for what had happened to their friend. No more than the other one cared for the blonde IT tech. Oliver knew without a doubt that Felicity was in pain, mentally and physically. Hopefully this new evidence that the team had come up with will help them find the low life that caused the pain in Felicity. It may not take the pain away from Felicity but he knew without a doubt it would make him and the team feel better, knowing they took care of the problem.

Everyone turned their attention to the television screen once Diggle had found what he was looking for. There on the screen plain as day was the face of the man that attacked their Felicity Smoak. Many voices could be hard at once. Diggle expressed his thoughts on who the person was. He had seen him many times over now, that he saw the face. He gripped the television remote in his hand so hard, it could be heard cracking.

Suddenly everyone stopped talking when they heard the sharp gasp from the bedroom doorway. There in complete shock was Felicity, hair a messy bun, looking weak and tired. She was staring at the television screen in complete terror.

"Damn.." Oliver said under his breath as he quickly stood and went toward his blonde friend. He reached out to steady Felicity, to take her back into the bedroom away from the living room and the t.v. screen. Once he placed his hands on either side of her arms, the blonde started to shake uncontrollably. Felicity's eyes grew dark and tears formed, Oliver wanted nothing more than to stop those tears, stop her hurt.

"Felicity look at me.." Oliver spoke softly. Felicity wouldn't have nothing of it, she was standing or rather almost leaning into the wall with tears in her eyes shaking from head to toe.

"Felicity please.." Oliver pleaded with the blonde. He started leading her back into her bedroom and was shocked to find that Felicity allowed him to. He stayed close to her and walked her toward the bed and both sat down on the edge. The blankets was very ruffled where Felicity tried to get comfortable but couldn't.

Oliver went to place his hand on Felicity's head when she finally spoke. "Don't touch me please." Felicity's words were soft, tear filled and he could clearly hear the pain.

"He is still alive Oliver." Felicity said.

"For now." Came the simple reply from Oliver. That was the only words he could form to speak at the moment. He sat next to the blonde on the bed and was very surprised she hadn't asked him to move yet. He didn't need to look at Felicity to know that her tears were streaming down her face freely now.

"Oliver.."

"Felicity, I promise you, we will take care of this."

"Take care of what Oliver, you going to take everything away? You going to take away the pain that I feel, the shame that I feel, or hey how about the demons that chase my dreams? So you going to take everything away? I don't want to be here anymore Oliver, I don't want to wake up when I do. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want you and the others to be here. I don't want to be in this dream. I want out."

Oliver stood up suddenly making Felicity jerk a little bit which he didn't mean to do.

"What are you saying Felicity?"

"Oliver I want to die…."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Arrow, actually I own nothing at all. This is raw, no beta, no edit.

Remember, my semester has started back up so chapters may come slowly now but the end is almost near.

Everyone that sat in the living room could hear the words coming from their two friends in the bedroom. They each took a sharp breath when the words came out of Felicity's mouth that she wanted to die.

"How could she have said that?" Thea Queen couldn't stop the tears that formed in her eyes.

"She is in pain Thea, she didn't mean it." Diggle placed his arm around Oliver's sister and pulled her close to him. They all were hurting, but Felicity was the one dealing with Demons.

Laurel walked toward the kitchen counter and started putting the purchases Oliver had gotten away, making her hands busy. The tears threatened to take over and she didn't know if she wanted them to fall.

"Gray Collins.." Diggle spoke aloud. It hit him like a brick wall, he now knew who this character was. He was a business man that he had met a few months back in the diner that Diggle liked to visit. He still had the business card the man gave him. He couldn't understand at the time why the man even came up to his table to talk to him. He had noticed the man sitting in a booth in the diner reading a newspaper. Was he at fault for what happen to Felicity? He wondered.

"We know now who he is now we need to know where he is." Diggle said getting up and motioning for the two women to follow him out the back door to the patio. They would be able to talk there and maybe not have to over hear what Oliver and Felicity was discussing in the bedroom.

"Felicity, you don't mean that."

"Yes Oliver, I do. I don't want to live like this. This is not me."

"Felicity you don't have to go through this alone, you have me and the others." Oliver went to place his hand on Felicity's shoulder, Felicity allowed the touch to take place, so Oliver sat back down next to the blonde.

"Felicity, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, do you understand that? I know that you're hurting and I wish I could take that hurt away. "

"You can't Oliver, no one can. I don't want to sleep; I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to breath. It's like a waking nightmare, I don't want it anymore."

"Felicity you are the strongest person that I know and with my every breath I will fight for you. You have all of us to be here for you, you just have to want that."

"Oliver… " Felicity's voice started to beak "Oliver I can't.." Felicity's tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She didn't know she even had tears left to cry but apparently she did. Oliver grabbed the box of tissues from the night stand and handed a few of them to Felicity. He couldn't believe what she was saying, he couldn't believe that she wanted to die. Just when he found his love for her, she wanted to take it away. He wouldn't stand for that; he wouldn't stand for some evil monster to take his love away from the blonde.

Oliver moved his hand from Felicity's shoulder and placed it on her back rubbing small circles with his thumb, trying to sooth her the best he knew how right now. He stiffened body didn't go unnoticed, Oliver just chose to push the boundaries.

"Felicity you can get through this and you will get through this. I am not going to sit here and allow you to give up on yourself so easily. "

"You wasn't there Oliver." The knife cut his chest so deep he knew without a doubt it split his heart into when she said those simple words. No he wasn't there, no he didn't know what had happened to her. But he would get the revenge that was needed to make most of them feel a lot better about things.

"No I wasn't, I wish every single day since we found you that I was. I wish that this never happened to you. I wish things were different. But you're a strong person Felicity and with help you will get through this, that is one thing that I promise you. I love you Felicity and I won't lose you, to some mad man that is a monster, but I won't stand by and lose you to yourself."

"How do you not look at me different Oliver? You know what happened. I will never be normal ever again. Not that I was to start with but I knew who I was. I'm not that same person, I don't know where that person went."

"Tell me Felicity, talk to me, tell me what you need to I'm here to listen to what you have to say." Oliver pulled Felicity close to him and she didn't jerk away this time. She fit comfortably within his side. "Felicity I don't look at you different. I am in love with you, do you realize what I'm trying to tell you?"

"Oliver you don't understand."

"Then tell me Felicity.. make me understand."

"I can still…. I can still smell him on me and it makes me want to throw up every second of the day. But when I do throw up then I hurt all over my body. I can still see his eyes as he…" Felicity drew a deep breath and through her tears she tried to speak. "I can still see his eyes as he was on top of me ripping my clothes from my body. My… my arms and legs were strapped down. I think he thought I was too drugged but ..Oliver I wasn't I knew what he was doing and what was happening and I begged him to stop I cried , I was so weak." Felicity's tears flowed, and her voice started to get very choked up. She cried into Oliver's side and he held her tight, her shaking making the bed they were sitting on shake underneath them. Oliver's anger boiled to the top with the thoughts and his own images in his mind of what Felicity was telling him. He tried his best to hide that anger knowing that if he flew off the handle so to speak like he wanted to then Felicity was retrieve back into herself. This was the first time that any of them had her talking this much.

"Oh God Oliver, I was so weak, I gave up.. I don't want to live this life another second."

"You wasn't weak and you're not weak. You are strong Felicity and we, together will get through this I promise. Here let me straighten up your bed a little so we can get you back into it. Do you need to go to the restroom before you lay down?" Oliver kept his anger at bay, he spoke softly but wanted Felicity to know that she would be taken care of. Oliver had to get away, he had to leave the room. His anger was starting to take control of him. Seeing Felicity so torn up and the terror that she held within her was starting to take over his every thought.

He helped Felicity stand up and walked close to her to the master bathroom. Once Felicity was inside he closed the door a little and went back to fixing the messy bed so his blonde friend could lay down, he took notice of his hands shaking when he grabbed the blanket, he had to get control. Once that was done he ran into the kitchen and grabbed a pain pill, he wanted her to sleep. He didn't believe in giving her more pain killers, but he needed her to rest.

He was standing in the middle of the master bedroom when the bathroom door opened. He quickly walked over and helped Felicity back into the bed. Once she was in the bed he handed her the medicine and a bottle of water.

"Felicity I want you to sleep okay? I will get you some dinner that you can eat later, but for now sleep." Oliver said pushing a blonde strand of hair away from her face. He bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead. Oliver sat on the edge of the bed long enough for Felicity to close her eyes and move toward her side.

He left the bedroom, he had to do something he had to get the anger out of his system, it took everything he had to hold it in so long so not to scare Felicity. She was finally letting him in and he would not ruin that. He noticed the others on the back patio and walked toward them, he flung open the sliding door so hard the others thought it was going to bust into pieces.

"Oliver?" Diggle said walking toward his friend.

"I want this sonofabitch now; I want his head." Oliver gripped the banister that over looked the small park located behind Felicity's apartment complex. His knuckles where white, he could chew on nails right now, he couldn't shake the words from his mind that Felicity had let him in on, his own images of what Felicity went through running through his mind like a feral animal.

"Is Felicity okay? Oliver we heard her said that she wanted to die."

"No, she isn't okay Thea, she is in pain. I don't think she means it. She is running from demons right now. But she is strong and we will help her. That is what we do." Oliver said holding his sister close to his chest.

"I want Felicity watched at all times though." Oliver simply stated.

"I will take first watch." Laurel stated as she walked toward everyone. She had been standing away from the group looking out over the park lost in her own thoughts.

"Okay that is good. Diggle what did you find?"

"Gray Collins is the man's name. Now we just need to find where he is hiding his slimy self at."

"Let's go, Thea you come with us. Laurel we will try not to be gone to long, let me know if anything happens and keep watch out front for anyone. Tell your dad that Felicity isn't up for talking right now I know he wanted to come by. I will let him in on what we have found." Oliver placed his hand on Laurel's shoulder as he spoke.

Diggle, Thea and Oliver went back to the Arrow Liar to complete their mission. He would not rest until Gray Collins was brought down and paid for what he done to Felicity. He felt like he had made a headway with Felicity, she wasn't pushing him away as bad as she had been. She had talked to him, more words than she had spoken in over a month. That was a plus for Oliver and he wanted to keep it that way. He turned his thoughts to her allowing him to hold her and how she fit perfectly within his side and comfortably. He wanted his thoughts on something positive then on the bad that they were on now.

He was scared for Felicity he didn't know if she was capable of ending her life but he wasn't about to take any precautions thinking that she wouldn't. For now, he would not allow Felicity alone with herself for more than the time it took her to go to the restroom.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve:

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Arrow, actually I own nothing at all. This is raw, no beta, no edit.

Remember, my semester has started back up and I do believe Medical Law is going to kick my butt, so chapters may come slowly now but the end is almost near.

Inside the Arrow liar, Diggle, Thea, and Oliver searched for anything leading to Gray Collins. It was almost like the man didn't exist at all. Diggle wasn't as good as Felicity on the computers but he knew how to do a few things that may help the team.

Diggle wanted nothing more than to bring the head of Gray Collins to his best friend, because he wanted the same. His emotions seem to be running rapidly since Felicity's attack. He couldn't understand how someone could ever hurt a person like Felicity. He had seen the bad in people, the very bad in some and the horror in some but nothing like what happened to Felicity had ever hit home before. John wanted to chase away all of Felicity's demons just the same as Oliver but he knew his best friend would take care of that. Right now what needed to be done was for Diggle to find the monster and that was just what he was going to do.

Diggle had tried calling the number listed on Gray Collins' business card. No shock when there wasn't an answer. What had he hoped for? Did he think that Collins was going to answer and tell the team right where he could be found?

"There looks to be a large equipment business on the outskirts of town that is listed in Jack Collins name, Gray Collins' father, I do believe." Diggle said looking closely at what come up on the screen in front of him.

"Then we start there. Let's go." Oliver said not giving room for anymore talk. The equipment business was the first thing they had come up with within their searching.

Laurel helped Felicity to the small kitchen table, soup and a peanut butter sandwich sat in front of the blonde waiting to be eaten. Felicity didn't feel like eating, she felt like throwing up. No words were spoken between the two women, didn't have to be.

Laurel sat in the chair across from the blonde. She hated that her friend was attacked, she hated that she was going through the nightmare, but she didn't know how she felt. She didn't know what she was thinking and Laurel wanted so bad to be there for her friend.

"Felicity you need to eat a little more." Laurel spoke softly. Felicity only nodded her head toward her friend. She knew she needed to eat she knew what she needed, but she couldn't make herself take another bite.

"I would like to lay back down. I don't feel so good." Felicity said trying to get up from the table on her own. Laurel helped her up and Felicity stood against the small kitchen bar that separated the kitchen and eating area.

"Hang on for a minute Felicity, let me put this away real fast." Laurel said as she grabbed the sandwich and bowl of soup from the table and taking it to put in the sink. Once that task was finished Laurel assisted Felicity back into her room, never seeing Felicity's actions in the kitchen.

"I see movement." John Diggle spoke into the radio so everyone could hear him. "Over there by the loader looks to be maybe two men, no I seen three."

"Armed?" Thea asked.

"Yes, heavy armed. This may be something Oliver." Diggle moved closer, hiding his body behind a large dump truck parked a little way from the building. Thea stood on top of a vacant dozer that was in the parking area. There as a reason she was called "speedy" as she climbed up on the equipment without being noticed. From her point of view now she could see the three men walking around the parking area, as if they were on guard.

"Let's do this." Oliver said taking his place across from Thea's view. "I have one in sight." Thea said drawing her bow back easily.

Once she fired off her shot everything happened at once, she put her arrow into the man's shoulder making him drop his weapon while the other two men started shooting.

"Watch the one on your left Dig" Oliver shouted as he took his shot bringing another one to his knees in pain. These men weren't just workers for the company, they were armed they were guarding something or someone.

Oliver ran over to his target and grabbed the man by the shoulder. "Where is Gray Collins?"

"I don't know who you're talking about? You shot me with an arrow, you shot me!" The black man screamed into Oliver's face.

"Yeah well tell me what I want to know and I will be sure not to shoot you with another one. Where is Gray Collins?"

Oliver stepped onto the man's leg, holding him in place as he drew back his bow, letting the man know he wasn't fooling around.

"He isn't here man; I don't know where he is." The black man shouted. "You better hope that you're telling the truth!"

"I am I promise he isn't here!"

Diggle wrestled with another of the guards. A tall muscular Bald white man whose teeth looked as if they had seen better days. Diggle had him to the ground holding him down. It was easy enough to take the weapons from the guards but just what were they guarding.

"Where can I find him" Oliver asked once they had piled all the men into a pile between them, daring either one of them to move.

"We don't know; we just work here."

"Why do you need guns to work at an equipment business?"

"Business can get brutal sometimes." The tall bald man said.

"Cute.." Thea said as she kicked the man. "Tell us what we want to know, or I promise you sir I will put an arrow in that chest of yours."

Oliver noticed once Thea had kicked the man something had fell from his pocket. When he bent over to pick it up rage filled his mind and body. A small baggie with vertigo was inside, he didn't have to look twice to know what it was.

He held up the bag to the three men. "Who else is here?"

"No one just us and that is mine."

"Not any longer, where is Gray Collins I want to know and I'm tired of messing around." Oliver bend over and held the bald man by his shirt collar.

"He isn't here man, I told you. We have never seen him."

"Then where did you get this." Oliver said as he shoved the baggie into the man's face.

"It was a gift from a pretty blonde." The man spat out.

"What did you say?" Oliver lost control all at once, he punched the man square in the face and jumped on top of him, his fist connecting with the man's face more than once. Diggle had to wrestle Oliver away from the bald man before he killed him.

Once Diggle had gotten Oliver off the man, and made sure Oliver wasn't going to attack again he walked closer to the bald white man. The other two men stayed silent, and John thanked the heavens for that.

"That pretty blonde that Collins got a taste of, well we all got a taste of actually, she loved the vertigo, not as strong as she pretended to be that one was." This time it was Diggle to lose control. He attacked the bald man not caring the outcome any more. These slime balls needed to die.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Diggle shouted into the man's face as he was attacking him.

The other two men started to scoot away from the crowd. They had nothing to do with the blonde and they didn't want no part of what was happening in front of them.

"Listen man, Collins is probably at the other location for the shop." Oliver quickly looked to the black man that was trying his best to hold the blood in his body from the arrow wound on his shoulder.

"Where?"

"I don't know. I haven't been working here very long. I had nothing to do with the blonde lady he is talking about. Please just let the police have me." The black man made his pleads.

Diggle stopped his attacked on the mouthy bald man to walk toward the two that were silent until now. His could feel the throbbing in his hand and the blood. He didn't care.

Oliver placed his hand on Diggle's shoulder to stop him. Oliver looked over at the bald man lying on the ground in blood. He walked over to him and raised him up by his shirt collar. "Where is this other shop?" Oliver asked.

"I don't know, I only know of this place and the warehouse where he kept the blonde."

"What do you mean you all had a taste of the blonde." Even saying the words made Oliver feel dirty. He had to know what the man was talking about though.

"That one, he shared with his men. The other's he wasn't so giving with." The man actually laughed. He actually laughed in Oliver's face.

Oliver was losing total control, to find out the new information was enough to send him over the edge of sanity. He lunged for the bald man when Diggle stopped him. Oliver tried to break free from his friend. He was pissed and he wanted revenge.

"Come on man... let the cops have him." Diggle felt the same has Oliver but the mouthy man was not the one they wanted.

"I think your friend broke my damn nose."

"yeah possibly." Oliver said walking away.

"Tie them up over there by the dozer. I'm going to call Lance let him know what we found then we are going to search this place. I figure once I call Lance we have about 15 minutes before the cops' swarm this place." Oliver said as he started to walk away.

The team walked into the building located on the property. One large shop that looked to have a piece of large equipment being worked on in it. Small restroom and two other rooms made the building up. Small baggies that Oliver knew once held vertigo could be found in the restroom trash can and in the break room trash. Oliver made sure to relay that information to the Detective. They looked through whatever they could and found no other person inside of the building. If it was just an equipment shop, then what were the men guarding. They had too many weapons to just be simple night guards walking around the area.

The search over the small building came up empty. The trio didn't find anything that would lead them to where Gray Collins was hiding himself. Oliver hoped that Lance could get some information out of the guys. Each one had vertigo on them, that was enough for them to be taken in.

Oliver was mad, they had come up with nothing yet again. One thing each of them took notice was the pile of newspapers laying on a desk in what looked to be a break room. What was the man's fetish with newspapers?

"Oliver we didn't come up empty, we know that Gray has been at that location with all the newspapers laying around. That man and those newspapers just freaks the hell out of me." Diggle said once back into the lair. Thea was cleaning Diggle's hand where he had broken the skin on the bald man's face.

"Let's get back over to Felicity's. I don't want to leave Laurel and Felicity alone by themselves for too long. Maybe Lance will get one of the guys to talk." Oliver said not caring what words were spoken around him. He wanted to get back to the apartment incase Gray thought it would be a good idea to be around the apartment complex. He looked down at his hand, his was nothing compared to Diggle's.

Oliver had calmed himself down before going to the apartment door. He wouldn't allow Felicity nor Laurel to see him with all the rage he felt. Diggle was calm enough to go into the apartment. His hand bandaged up but at least that was all that had took place. Oliver wanted to kill the man, he wanted to end his life for what he said but he had bigger fish to fry.

Once in front of the apartment door Oliver noticed a large mailing envelop laying on the small stoop. He quickly picked it up and knocked on the door for Laurel to allow them entry.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing of Arrow. Raw, no edit no beta

Gray Collins was one mad man as he stood on the hill close to the equipment company his father owned. Cops swarmed the place and he saw three of his men being taken into custody. He would make sure the three wouldn't talk to the cops that was one thing he knew. He didn't know the details yet on what had happened, he was away from the property delivering an important item and his curiosity was getting to him. He quickly got back into his jeep and drove away from his perch on the hilltop.

Once inside the apartment the team took their usual spots in the living room. Oliver still held the large mailing envelop within his hands.

"What do you think it contains?" Thea asking as she sat next to her brother on the couch.

"Let's see…" Oliver tore open the envelop and watched as many pictures fell from it at once. Oliver held a white sheet of paper containing elegant handwriting with his hands.

"Oh my God.." Thea said picking up the pictures. Pictures of the Felicity that her and along with Laurel hadn't seen. Images that would forever be burned within her mind.

"Ollie?"

Oliver didn't answer, he was looking at several of the pictures scattered on the floor in front of him. He thought seeing Felicity in the shape they had found her in would haunt him forever but he wasn't prepared for what the pictures held. He could sense Thea and Laurel crying in the room trying their best to not make any noise. He could sense Diggle's hands clenching as he to stared at the pictures on the floor.

"What happened Ollie?" Thea asked wiping the tears from her face as she spoke. She dropped the picture she was holding onto the small coffee table in front of them. The picture was of Felicity being strapped down naked on a metal table, blood everywhere, cuts covered Felicity's body. Felicity's blonde hair was matted to the side of her face. She quickly took a look at the other pictures, of Felicity being violated by different disgusting looking men. Whoever took those pictures had to be one sick soul.

Oliver started picking up the pictures, some that he could see held images that he was sure Felicity wouldn't want anyone looking at. Once they all were in his hand he looked down to the letter.

 _"I want you to see these pictures, I want you to know what I done to your loved one. If you don't back off and allow me to do what I want within this great city, then you will see pictures like this of your dear sister, or maybe even your pretty dark haired friend. I'm sure you will agree you could not protect your blonde friend; you will not be able to protect any of the others."_

Oliver handed the letter over to John Diggle. He quickly looked to Laurel, tears streamed down his friends face but he couldn't think on that right now.

"Laurel, how is Felicity?"

"She is sleeping... Ollie these pictures? This is what you and Dig found wasn't it? Oh my God Felicity." Laurel placed her head in her hands and began to sob harder.

"Ollie I think we should move Felicity to my loft, I think it would be for the best." Thea said sitting up straight. "I think she would heal better away from here."

"I think you would be right. We move her now. Thea pack Felicity's bags please. I will help you." Oliver said getting up from the couch still holding on to the pictures.

"Ollie my car is in the parking garage; we can take Felicity over in it." Laurel said going into the kitchen to gathered the things she knew that Felicity would need.

"Me and Thea will follow in Thea's car." Diggle said going out the front door. He wanted to scan the area of the apartment complex for Gray Collins.

"Her painkillers are not here?" Laurel said looking everywhere on the counter top.

"What?' Oliver said turning around to make sure he heard Laurel right.

"Her pain pills they were right here on the counter and now they aren't here Ollie." Laurel was looking everywhere. She knew that she had placed them back on the counter next to her other medications.

"You two pack what is needed, we will get her clothes in a minute."

Oliver went directly into the master bedroom; he knew what was going on he knew that Felicity had to have stolen those pills off the counter top. He sure hoped that he was wrong but his gut was telling him what he needed to know.

He flipped the small lamp on that was sitting in the corner of the room giving the bedroom light. He quickly tucked the pictures inside his overnight bag that sat behind the door.

"Oliver?"

"Yeah Felicity, it's me." Oliver said walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge.

"I think we need to talk Felicity, don't you?' Oliver said putting his hand over top of the blondes.

Felicity nodded her head, no words were needed to be spoken. She knew what he was talking about, that disappointed look was in his eyes. She took the bottle of pills from under her pillow and handed them to Oliver. She thought about taking them all, she thought that if she did then maybe she would fall into a slumber that she would never come back from. She wanted to be away from everything, from everyone. She also knew that taking many painkillers may not do what she exactly wanted.

"Why?" Oliver said gripping the bottle tight in his hand. "Why Felicity?"

"I told you Oliver but you won't listen to me. I told you I can't take another second here."

"Well good then, we are moving you to Thea's flat." Oliver said getting up from the bed shoving the pills in his jeans pocket and going over to Felicity's dresser that stood against one wall. He was pissed with the blonde.

"That's not what I mean Oliver."

"Right now Felicity, I don't care what you mean." Oliver started to pace the length of the bedroom. He whirled around to face the blonde.

"You know Felicity, when Diggle and I found you..." Oliver closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I thought that I lost you forever, I thought that sick sonofabitch took you away from me forever but he didn't' and you… you lived Felicity." Oliver put his hands on the foot board of Felicity's bed and took another long breath.

"Now…. Now you want to take your own self away from me and I can't understand why. Maybe that is egotistical of me but you know what, I don't care, I love you Felicity and I know that you're in pain, I know that you are hurting more than just physically but what hurts me…. right here" Oliver said putting his fist to his chest. "Is that you don't care enough about me or your friends and family to want a life."

Oliver knew he had to control his anger he didn't want to set Felicity off in a panic but he was mad. He had to change the subject or there was going to be words spoken that would never be taken back.

"You are going to be moved to Thea's for now." Oliver started throwing clothes onto the bed ending the conversation. Thea could put them in a bag. He was trying his best to control his anger toward Felicity but was finding it harder by the second to do that.

"Ok." Felicity simply said not wanting to anger her friend. She knew he was mad; she had seen him mad several times but nothing compared to this. She was scared. She was scared to leave the apartment, scared of Oliver's anger. She started to shake, tears started to roll down her face. Why was everything so messed up?

"I'm sorry Oliver, I'm sorry I'm not that person any longer. I'm sorry I'm not that person you are wanting me to be or what the others want out of me. But I'm not sorry for taking the pills I just knew they wouldn't be enough!"

Felicity said through her tears. Felicity found that she was starting to get angry. Oliver or any of the rest would ever understand what she was feeling. How could they help someone when they didn't even understand.

Oliver stopped what he was doing when she spoke her words of truth. She knew it wouldn't had been enough. How was he supposed to get over those words? She really did want to end her life, she honestly wanted to die and he wouldn't lose her, he wouldn't allow her to go out that way.

Felicity quickly raised up in the bed and swung her feet to the side. Once standing up though it was a different story, she felt dizzy and couldn't get her legs to work. Pain making itself known she instantly fell face first onto the carpeted floor hitting her head hard. Pain struck her entire body like a deep knife wound, her head throbbed and she screamed out.

"Felicity!" Oliver quickly went to the blonde's side, he placed his hand on her back, one thing for sure she didn't fall gracefully.

"Felicity are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Felicity said allowing Oliver to help her sit up. How pathetic she thought.

Oliver quickly checked the blonde over making sure nothing was broken. "Felicity you are not to blame for any of this." Oliver said sitting next to Felicity on the floor. Felicity fell into his side in the comfortable position they had come accustomed to. He placed his arm around her and stroked her blonde hair feeling the knot on the right side of her forehead starting to form. My God she needed bubble wrap.

"I'm sorry Oliver." Felicity said through pain filled tears.

"No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten mad. But I just thought..."

"I don't mean to let you down Oliver, I don't mean to disappoint you but I can't…"

"Don't, you could never let me down." Oliver said thinking back to the pictures he hid in his bag. Felicity went through a something that only came from horror movies.

"We are going to move you to Thea's flat and I promise Felicity I am not going anywhere I'm going to be right beside you." Oliver reassured the blonde.

"I don't know if I can do this Oliver. I don't know if I will ever be the same person."

"It doesn't matter what road this leads to Felicity; I want you to know I will travel it with you. I will be right by your side every step of the way."

Felicity was scared, she was starting to feel comfortable around Oliver but more times than many she would have to calm herself when he was around and she hated that feeling. But could he love her? Could he love someone that was damaged beyond repair? She didn't think anyone could love her, she was nothing more than a shell of what a person should be. She wasn't for sure that she could love him back, love him the way he loved her.

"You promise?"

"Yes I promise. Come on let's get you to your feet, we need to leave." Oliver said getting up from the floor. He hated to unwrap Felicity from him but they had things to do.

"Oliver… he is coming for me isn't he?"

Oliver wasn't for sure how to answer that question. He looked into the blonde's eyes and could see fear, maybe his own eyes reflected the same, he didn't know. He felt in his gut after getting the pictures that Gray Collins would not stop until he brought the entire team down. He knew without a doubt that the evil monster that attacked Felicity had no soul, and wouldn't think twice to attack either one of his female friends. It terrified Oliver to come to that realization of truth. Once at Thea's apartment he would talk to everyone, he didn't want the girls left alone by themselves.

"I don't know Felicity…. I don't know."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen:

Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow, kinda wish I did though… This is raw, no edit, no beta..

"What do we do Oliver? Leave this alone?" Diggle asked standing up against the kitchen counter in Thea's apartment.

Diggle replayed the images through his mind of when they were transferring Felicity from her apartment to the loft. She had an extremely bad panic attack and was shocked to see Oliver was the one able to calm the blonde. Felicity was his friend and he couldn't even be around her and that hurt. John didn't know what to do anymore, he felt better when he wasn't in the room with the blonde. At least he wouldn't have to see the coldness in her eyes when she looked at him, or the panic attacks that he simply caused because he was in the same room.

"No, I won't stop until that monster is put to rest." Oliver spoke while putting ice into a large cup with a straw, he poured bottled water into the cup and closed the top.  
"Laurel and Thea will stay hidden with Felicity here in the loft. I don't think we were followed or anything so I think it is safe to say we are good here. That leaves me and you."

"I'm not sitting helplessly to the side Ollie." Laurel finally found her voice. After the day's events she wanted nothing more than exactly what Oliver wanted and especially after reading the letter Gray Collins had sent the team.

"No Laurel, what if…"

"I'm stronger than Felicity, Oliver I know how to fight, Felicity didn't. It never occurred to anyone of us to train her to fight. We just always expected she would be behind that computer screen didn't we?"

"We can't blame ourselves Laurel." Dig said taking the bottled water that Thea offered.

"Why not John? Think about it, we have always kept her hidden, even before Thea and I. You and Ollie kept her hidden in the dark dungeon behind a computer screen. Why didn't you two teach her to defend for herself?" Laurel was angry but she was taking that anger out on the wrong people.

"Because she didn't need to know that, because she was behind a damn computer screen, she was safe there. We would had never let nothing happen to her Laurel and you know that..." Diggle found himself getting mad, maybe because Laurel was hitting to close to home for him.

"Yet how many times has she been hurt John? Almost blown up, almost injected with the drug she craves for now. Come on use common sense here." Laurel interrupted Dig with her voice getting louder with each word spoken.

"That's enough you two, you will wake Felicity." Thea tried to reason with her friends.

"I won't sit here and babysit because let's face it, Felicity is gone, the Felicity that we knew is no longer here and I'm sure the best place for her is a mental institution."

"Laurel You don't mean that!" Thea was now mad; this was not her friend talking.

"It's the truth Thea just face it. Felicity will never be that person again and I will be damned if I sit here and wait for the same outcome for myself. I will not be that person up there." Laurel said pointing toward the stairs of the loft.

"Laurel that is so unfair, do you realize how you sound right now? Felicity is our friend." Thea tried to reason with her friend.

"And I love her enough to let her go. She needs help that we can't offer her. What am I supposed to do sit here and be the helpless victim to? This is all of our faults for tucking the little blonde girl away thinking she was safe while all along making her weak."

"That's enough Laurel!" Oliver finally spoke. He had enough self-blame he didn't need any more added to him.

"You all deal with this but I will not sit by and be hidden away, it never got Felicity far did it?" Laurel said before grabbing her jacket from the rack and leaving the loft.

"I got it." Oliver said holding his hand up to stop Thea and Diggle from running after Laurel. He knew the girl; he had once loved her. He knew she could get dramatic sometimes but he knew that she was hurting for her friend. He also knew that Laurel was scared, who wouldn't be after seeing images of what happened to their friend.

"She did make a valid point John. We could have taught Felicity to defend for herself." Thea said playing with the lid of her water bottle.

"I know, but Felicity is strong and she will make her way back to us I have faith in that, if nothing else Thea have faith in that." John said leaving the kitchen, he went out the apartment door. He wanted to check around the apartment, he wanted something to do. Something that would make him stay away for now. The team was falling apart and that left Gray Collins to blame.

Thea walked over to the couch and sat down staring at the fire that blazed in the fireplace. Laurel was right, the team wasn't protecting Felicity, they were only making her weak by keeping her hidden away and she didn't want to be that person as much as Laurel did. She wanted to bring Felicity's attacker to an end. She had been in contact with her father, letting him know what they had found out. She knew that he would help protect her and would go to the ends of the earth for her. He may be an evil person but he was her father. Thea would sit this fight out though; she would be the friend that Felicity needed. She would be the person that her brother needed and she knew that he needed her to protect the woman that he loved. She pulled her cell phone from her back pocket and pushed the contact of her father. She didn't know if she was doing the right thing but she had to do something or the team was going to pull apart and lose each other forever.

Oliver had just caught up with Laurel when his cell phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He quickly looked to see the caller ID was that of Detective Lance. He held his finger up to Laurel indicating to stay put for a minute.

"Detective?"

"Oliver, we never got a chance to interrogate the men we brought in fully."

"What do you mean?"

"We found each one of them dead in their cells, we are investigating how this happened. No one was entered into the holding cells, they were alone."

"Damn it."

"I know Oliver, we will find out what we can and I will get back to you."

The phone call went dead and Oliver looked to Laurel. "The three men we found at the equipment business is dead. They were in the holding area by themselves."

"Ollie?"

"I don't know how this happened, damn it I thought for sure we would get information from them. Back at step one and I'm starting to get pissed." Oliver said walking around the street before the loft.

"Laurel that little show you put on back there, yes you can fight and yes you have an advantage that Felicity didn't have. But what you said was unfair."

"I'm sorry Ollie but I meant what I said, I'm not going to be that person."

"Laurel I know your scared but ..."

"I know Ollie." Neither Laurel nor Oliver had to say anymore, Oliver knew that Laurel would help the team and she would help Felicity.

"Our Felicity is gone Ollie…."

"It's up to us to bring her back Laurel."

"You love her don't you? I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it surround the area when you two are together."

"Yes… yes Laurel I do love her. I love her very much and it took me a long time to realize that. I don't know if we will ever see the same Felicity but that won't stop me from loving her any different."

"Oliver, those pictures of the men with Felicity, the pain that they all caused."

"That is something we will deal with, together."

"What was that?" Oliver asked Laurel putting his hand to her arm. There was what sounded like a scuffle at the end of the alley. Both Oliver and Laurel took off toward where the noise was coming from and was met head on with four large men fighting Diggle.

John Diggle was slumped against the brick wall of the loft entrance. He held his own for as long as he could. He did his best to fight them all. To see his friends coming was a huge relief. Full on fight was going on outside while two men slinked their selves up to the loft where they knew the women were by themselves.

Oliver caught a glimpse of the two men out of the corner of his eye but couldn't get away, he couldn't pull the large man from him.

"The Loft!"

"I got it!" Laurel took off running toward the stair case that would lead her to the loft where Thea and Felicity was but before Laurel could make it to the door she heard the commotion coming from the loft. Felicity was screaming sounding like an insane feral woman losing everything. Thea was doing her best holding her own inside the apartment. Laurel instantly jumped into the fight, Felicity screams being heard in the background.

Suddenly the man Oliver was fighting fell toward him in a slump. Oliver allowed him to drop to the ground at his feet looking around confused. Malcolm stood in front of Oliver holding the bow that the arrow came from in the man's back.

"Malcolm!" Oliver said surprised. He hadn't seen the man since they had found Felicity and didn't know where he had gone. Oliver didn't take another chance he took off running toward the loft where his sister and Felicity was. He knew without a doubt that Malcolm and Diggle would take care of the other men.

He ran into the apartment to see Laurel and Thea fighting, the coffee table laying in shreds in the floor. He grabbed one of the men off of Thea pushing him toward the wall. Thea instantly ran up the stairs where Felicity was. Oliver fast on her heels.

Where did this other man come from Thea thought as she ran into the master bedroom. She jumped on the white man's back jerking him away from her blonde friend. The duo fell to the floor against the wall of the bedroom Thea never once letting her grasp go. Oliver went straight to Felicity but when he touched her arm, she went into another screaming fit. He backed away from her has if he had been burned from a hot poker. He didn't know what to do, he looked toward the man fighting his sister and that was all it took for him to finally lose control.

Oliver grabbed the aluminum baseball Thea kept in the corner of her bedroom and attacked the man that was fighting his sister. The built up anger he had been doing his best to hide came to a boiling point, the hurt that he hid from his sister, from Felicity and from his friends came to a head. The images of Felicity from the pictures, the images from when he found his love came to the top. The thoughts of Felicity being held captive by a monster, by her own demons came flooding out. The pain he had to see the blonde go through every single day after her attack wasn't to be left out either. The thought of every dream Felicity ever had coming to an end as she wanted to end her life. Every emotion Oliver had been fighting came out of him and he fought with everything in him. It wasn't the man he wanted but he didn't care at this point. There was no turning back now, he was beyond gaining control anymore.

He was knocked from the man and pushed into the brick wall of the loft. The adrenaline running fresh in his body he was ready to fight another. He stood up swinging the baseball bat for the next person to come toward him but was held off by Malcolm. He could hear Felicity's screams trying to break through his mind telling him to stop. He finally was able to hear his sister screaming his name. He focused his eyes on Thea and could see clearly that she was hanging on to Felicity both women crying. His team was falling apart and there was nothing he could do to hold them together any longer.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen:

Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow, wish I did though. This is raw = no beta, no edit

Thanks for staying with me, the end is almost near.

Detective Lance was not a happy man. How was he supposed to explain how the men now laying around the apartment was dead? He was sure he would think of something but he was mad. He had already spoken to his daughter along with her friends. He would speak with Felicity once he knew it was safe to do so.

Seven men total was taken out in body bags, and Lance knew this wasn't all of Team Arrow's doings. He knew that they tried their best to take everyone alive. So his confusion was that, who killed these men. Oliver looked the worse of them all, he was raging like a wild animal walking around in the living room.

Each one of the team having their own wounds. Diggle was allowing Laurel to bandage his forehead and arm in the kitchen. Thea was taking care of Felicity so that left Oliver pacing the living room floor.

"Anyone want to shine some light on the situation here? How did all this happen?"

No one spoke at first, then Laurel placed the alcohol soaked cotton ball on the counter. She would take care of her father, she knew how to do that.

"They attacked us, they are men to Gray Collins. Here sit down." Laurel directed her father toward the large table.

Oliver climbed the stairs to the master bedroom of the loft. He wanted to check on Felicity and Thea, see for himself that the two people in his life that he loved the most was actually okay. He didn't hear any movement from the bedroom and stepped inside. Thea was sitting on the large king size bed holding onto Felicity as if she would break. He would have to tell his sister later how much she has helped him through all of this. She had been there for Felicity every step of the way, she had been there for him and he valued that more than she would ever know.

"She okay?" Oliver said not taking his eyes from Felicity.

"No." came the simple reply. He had wished to hear better, but how could things be better. He had allowed Felicity to be attacked again. He wasn't there to stop it like he had promised he would be. Oliver walked closer to the bed and sat down on the side and watched as Felicity clung tighter to Thea.

"Felicity?" Oliver spoke softly.

"Oliver." The rough but low voice belonged to Felicity. She had screamed so hard and so much that her throat was literally on fire.

"Can we talk?"

"yes."

Oliver watched as Felicity untangled herself from his sister and sat up in a sitting position at the top of the headboard. She wore new bruises on her face and it pained him deeply to see that.

"I'm going to go get Felicity a drink and myself."

"I want to talk to you later Thea." Oliver said without needing to go into detail about what he wanted to talk to her about.

Thea left the room, leaving Oliver and Felicity alone. Oliver suddenly became nervous. He was lost for words he didn't know what to say, seeing Felicity act the way she did earlier when he touched her made him feel awful.

"Felicity, are you really okay?" Oliver asked placing his hand on her swollen bruised cheek.

"I think so… well… no … no I'm not." Felicity began to cry, why was this happening to her, because of Oliver? Because of what he stood for? Because of what he done for the city? She wasn't for sure she wanted to be a part of that team anymore.

Oliver's own tears formed in his eyes as he took Felicity's look in. "Felicity let me hold you please?" Oliver needed her close to him, he needed to feel her. He was shocked to see Felicity nod her head yes and Oliver climbed more onto the bed and behind Felicity. Holding her in front of him with wrapping his arms around her tight. She stiffed for all of a second then seem to melt within his body.

"I'm sorry again Felicity…"

"Why is he still alive Oliver? Why isn't he dead?"

Hearing her words made Oliver feel like he was kicked in the stomach.

"We are looking for him Felicity but we can't catch a break. We thought we would be safe here."

"What does he want Oliver, why me?"

"He wants control of the city Felicity." Oliver said placing his hand on Felicity's forehead and bringing his head closer to hers.

"Oliver? Why me?"

"I can't answer that Felicity."

"Because I'm the weak one of the team, an easy target. Just like Laurel said, I'm weak."

Oliver raised his head back until he could feel the headboard on his head and took a long deep breath. He had hoped Felicity hadn't heard the small argument between the team but he shouldn't have been so foolish to think that. He brought his head forward and put his head on Felicity's.

"That's not true Felicity."

"Yes it is, face it Oliver. I couldn't even fight back, Oliver?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know how much more I can take, I am weak and I can't do this..."

"Felicity you can do this and you will." Oliver knew he needed to get Felicity's mind off things, off everything for just a little while. Oliver didn't know if it was from the fight or him holding her but Felicity's forehead felt like it was on fire. He started to worry.

Thea walked back into the room with a bottle of cold water and handed it to Oliver. She was glad to see Felicity wrapped in her brother's arms.

"Thea I think Felicity is running a fever." Oliver looked toward his sister for help.

She placed her hand on Felicity's forehead and noticed a hot temp that she hadn't noticed before. She went into the master bathroom and rummaged through a drawer until she found the thermometer that she kept stored there.

"Felicity place this under your tongue." Thea said as she placed the device in Felicity's mouth and held it in place. The screen of the thermometer lit up red and started to beep really fast indicating a high fever.

"103.2 Ollie, we need to bring that down. She needs to go to the hospital."

"No please, no hospital." Felicity spoke finally.

"Okay then." Thea went off into the master bathroom grabbing towels from the closet and throwing them onto the counter. She came back into the room and went to Felicity's bag bringing out the lightweight pajamas and laid them on the counter to. Felicity had already been through so much that when she said no hospital she sounded like a small child begging their mother not to get a shot. Thea wouldn't dare put Felicity through more.

"Then You get a lukewarm shower Felicity. Ollie can you help me?"

"Felicity?"

"That's fine." Came the whisper from Felicity.

Oliver scooted out from behind Felicity and went to the side of the bed. He helped the blonde to slide to the edge of the bed and held onto her as Thea started helping her out of the pajama top.

"Let me do this Thea, go tell the others and see if Lance has left yet. Tell them Felicity is sick and I will be down to talk to them soon. Thanks Thea for what you done tonight." Oliver said grabbing Thea's hand tightly.

Felicity wasn't feeling well. She was hurting all over and her head felt dizzy. She didn't know what was going on and she started to get scared. She kept telling herself that it was Oliver helping her, her Oliver that she loved just the same as his love but was too scared to tell him. She had wanted to tell him so many times before her attack but now it felt useless.

Oliver Helped Felicity stand and helped her to shed the rest of her clothes. She started getting nervous, she felt vulnerable being naked in front of Oliver. Tears came to her eyes, when would they stop?

Oliver could instantly feel Felicity stiffen next to him, he could only imagine what was going through her mind. "Felicity I won't hurt you, I promise."

"I know."

"Let's get into the shower I will help you."

"I don't want you to see me Oliver. I'm damaged, I'm ruin forever. I'm a disgrace."

"Stop, you are none of those things Felicity. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever met, your mind is the most exciting thing of all and your body is perfect. You are perfect Felicity, perfect inside and out."

Oliver lead Felicity into the bathroom and turned the shower to lukewarm like Thea instructed. He held her close to him while taking off his shirt. It needed to come off anyways he thought as he seen the shape it was in.

While holding Felicity, Oliver took notice of the weight lost, her shoulder bones were starting to stick up and collar bone more visible than before. This was killing her he thought, he was losing her in every way possible.

Oliver held Felicity's naked body against him and could feel the heat from her fever. She shook against him and he knew this was hard on her. He tried to sooth her with his voice letting her know that he would not hurt her and he was there to protect her. He told her everything he was doing as he helped her with the shower.

Fresh scars covered the blonde's body. Oliver ran his hand over each and every one of them, letting her know they didn't bother him in the least. They both had scars, mind, body and soul. That was something they shared. He remembered not so long ago when the team were talking about scars and Felicity feeling left out.

Oliver turned the water off after helping Felicity shower. He wrapped a towel around her and lead her to the vanity chair. Oliver took care of his wet clothes and wrapped a towel around his waist. He stood behind Felicity and helped her to brush her blonde hair. He placed his head to her forehead, her fever still screaming at him. He was worried about her. He didn't know if she was getting sick or if there was another reason for the fever. He was scared. Oliver looked into the mirror and caught Felicity's eyes. They were so hollow and cold. She stared blankly into his eyes, showing no emotions. Was Laurel right? Would they ever see their Felicity again?


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen:

Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow, wish I did though. This is raw = no beta, no edit

Once Felicity had taken her medications and something for her fever, Oliver left her to sleep. He didn't want to turn her loose for a second but as he unwrapped himself from her body he knew what needed to be done.

Once everyone was located around each other in the living room he started to talk.

"We have to find Collins and I want him found now!" Oliver was trying his best to keep his voice low.

"I can shine some light on that subject." Malcolm.

"Thanks for tonight." Oliver said, God how it pained him to tell that man thank you but he did save his team tonight. "What do you know."

"I know as of right now Collins is trying to find more men for his operation. For the last few days since Thea let me in on who he was I have been doing my own research and I know as of right now you have him scared, we have taken out many of his men tonight which is leaving him with no watch dogs."

"You know where he is?" Diggle asked getting up from the couch slowly. He was sore, he had taken a beating and he was feeling it.

"I have an idea."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Oliver asked looking toward the team. He knew Thea would stay with Felicity and he knew the blonde was protected. He wanted this ordeal over with Collins, he wanted to get started healing with Felicity. There was so much that he wanted but couldn't accomplish until Collins was dead.

Oliver walked up the stairs and eased the bedroom door open. He had left the light on in the master bathroom and it shone over the bed where he could see Felicity peacefully sleeping. He didn't want to leave her, he wanted to protect her on his own, he had already made the mistake of allowing her to be hurt twice, he couldn't handle another time. It wasn't like he was putting Collins first, but they would not be able to rest until the evil mad man was brought down and that was one thing he knew for sure.

He walked closer to the bed and placed his hand on her forehead, her fever was still there. He took a deep breath and took in the ugly bruise that marred the right side of her face. Just when her old bruises were fading another had to be added.

"I will be back soon and all of this will be over." He whispered in her ear as he kissed her forehead then left the room. They would all be free again he would make sure of that.

Thea met him in the hallway waiting for him to leave the room. She would stay with Felicity in the room. She wouldn't leave the blonde alone for a second. She had everything she needed to protect them both this time and she would be ready for anything to happen.

"Be safe." Oliver kissed his sister on the forehead and left. She didn't know what would happen, she didn't' know if she would see him again or any of the team for that matter. She wanted to be with the team, she wanted to bring Collins to his knees for tearing her little family a part. That was the reason or calling her father, he would take her place when she couldn't be there. She stood against the wall peering outside the window looking at the street below. Everything was so calm, no noise could be heard other than Felicity's soft snore coming from the bed.

Oliver, Diggle and Laurel looked through the large glass window at their target, each one of them wanting a piece of the man that had brought them so much hurt, so much pain to their friend, to their team, to their family. Each one with their own thoughts of what they wanted to do to the scum bag sitting in his large overstuffed easy chair. They were working out a plan, men scattered all around Gray Collin's home property, but right now the only image they could see was the evil man that took their Felicity away from them.

Malcolm leaned against the large tree located in the yard. Felicity was nothing to him, he was a long for the ride as he like to put it. Once Thea had called her father with the name it didn't take Malcolm long to find what he what looking for. He knew that his daughter was hurting over her blonde friend though and that was enough for Malcolm to find the anger within him. His daughter asked him to take her place in the fight, when she had called him earlier he was already on his way to her apartment. Finding the fight outside was just sprinkles on his cake. He grinned, it was sad that he always wanted to see the pain in Oliver but he would set all of that aside for now. He would allow the team their revenge, he would allow them to run the entire show, but he would be the backup they needed. He would be the man that his daughter needed right now. Tomorrow he would go back to the man everyone hated.

"10 men total on the property." Diggle finally broke the silence. "Easy Odds."

Oliver shook his head, trying to clear the images of Felicity out of his mind. He needed to be sharp and on his game. Now standing there with his target in his eye sight, he couldn't stop the images of Felicity coming to his mind. All he could see was how that sick bastard had hurt his Felicity, how he had taken control of everything that use to be his blonde love. The man that now sat just inside the house, looking as if he had no care in the world brought Oliver's anger to the surface once again for the night.

"Collins is mine." Oliver's voice was rough with rage.

"Understood."

"Let's do this, let's bring this nightmare to an end. For Felicity." Oliver said moving from his spot.

It didn't take long for the activity to start around the property. Oliver allowed his rage to take control of him. It didn't take long until his arrow found its mark on the man's chest that stood in his way of Collins. He had once promised Felicity that he would try his best to take his targets alive, tonight was another story, he would not allow any of them to live. Felicity didn't have a chance against Collins and his team and he would return that same favor to Collins. He allowed his emotions to come back to surface once more for the night, it's what fueled him to put each man he came across to the ground … dead. He knew his team was dealing with their own rage.

Laurel was like a different person as she gave it everything she had, fighting for Felicity, fighting for the team, and fighting for herself. Diggle plowed through two men that stood in his path. His thoughts on his blonde friend that would probably never be the same ever again. The hurt that he received every time he was in the same room with Felicity and she would shield away from him. The pain that he had to watch her go through and know that his friends was hurting. The pain all of them was going through came to Dig's mind and he allowed it to walk its path with him.

It wasn't long until ten men laid dead on the grounds of the property. Collins was trying to make a run for it when Malcolm put an arrow in his leg bringing the man to his knees.

"NO!" Oliver yelled. Collins was his and he wouldn't stand for another to take his revenge.

"Just slowing him down." Malcolm stepped back away from the man. The team staring down hard on Collins and Malcolm didn't want to be in that position. He had stared down Oliver many times, but to see the three team members, sort of scared him.

Gray Collins wasn't much of a fighter, that was his reasoning for hiring the guys he had around him. He knew when he was beat, he knew when to give up and now might be the right time. He was surrounded by four angry looking individuals. He had to laugh at the irony of it all. He set out to ruin Oliver Queen and his team.

"You found me?" Collins knew how to talk himself out of many things. He wasn't for sure he could talk himself out of this situation though.

Oliver's anger took full control when he heard the voice of the man that took his sweet Felicity from him. He walked a menacing march to Collins, his rage pleading to be heard. He drew back and hit Collins in the jaw as hard as he could. He watched as the man's face whirled around and hit the ground beneath him. An arrow was to quick and easy for Collins, Oliver would not allow the scum to go out without pain. Oliver never once let up, his blows to Collins' face and head being harder with each hit, helped Oliver get his revenge. Blood pooled around Collin's head, spreading across the ground like spilled water.

Laurel turned her head, she had never seen Oliver's anger in the shape it was in now. She buried her head into Diggle's chest and he held on to his friend tightly. John Diggle wouldn't dare stop Oliver; one reason was he wanted Collins to suffer as much as Felicity was suffering. Another reason, Oliver needed this, he needed to get his revenge to start healing. They all did.

When Oliver had lost all energy, lost all feeling in his hands, lost all that rage that had kept him going for days, he sat back on his heels and looked at Collins. Gray Collins would never take another breath; he would never see another day. Oliver Queen had beat him to death with his bare hands. He stared at the bloody mess in front of him, he had taken a man's life with his bare heads and he felt no remorse. He felt nothing at the moment. He was tired, he was finally weak. All the adrenaline that had been raging through him finally left his body.

The three standing around Oliver finally made their move. As Laurel picked up Oliver's bow from the ground. Diggle and Malcolm went to either side of Oliver Queen and pulled him up off the ground, holding him between them. The four walked away from the bloodied scene, never looking back. Laurel would call her father and let him know what had taken place. She was sure that her father would agree and justify Oliver's behavior. Who wouldn't?

The man that haunted Felicity's nightmares was gone, he would never draw another breath. It was time for the team to heal, to help one of their own find themselves again. It was time for love to take place, deep soul healing to begin.

Each and every one of them was wore down. Felicity's attack that happened over a month ago brought everything out of them. They have gone without sleep, without eating, they had called onto people they didn't even know if they could trust. The team had spent the last month or so watching their favorite blonde fall into depression to the point of ending the life she lived. It was time for healing, for them all. Each of them needed to find out who they were again and who they were as a team.


End file.
